Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Life has taught me to think, but thinking has not taught me to live.
Alexander Herzen

I found this here:


The Thinking Problem

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confess, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, and her lower lip began to aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was Porky's, the week before, it was Animal House.

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I made the final step. I registered to vote as a Republican.

posted by Nit Wit at 7:41 AM | Permalink |


  • At 8:57 AM, Blogger the rube

    i don't know about the republicans.

    they seem to think like crazy when they try and support the prez but distance themselves from his policies.

    it ain't easy being an artful dodger and never answering questions.

  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    may be one of your greatest posts..
    of all times..ever and ever...

    by the way..apos is back..yeah!

  • At 2:21 PM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    i checked it out and wow..I like it there...thanks for the link..jac
    did you ever get to use the teet balm?..

  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger Babs

    That final step is a doozy! But yet, I laughed.

  • At 1:26 AM, Blogger Babs

    It was difficult getting that Beano in my eye. Kinda painful too.

  • At 11:09 AM, Blogger Dx

    I've just read your post. I'm going to think about it for a while.

  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger Dx

    Ok, I've thought about it and here's what I've got. A memory. I remember reading some grafitti which said, "I've half a mind to join the Republicans". below this, a real thinker had scrawled, "That's all you'll need"