Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Random Rumbles

I took the picture below standing on my front porch Monday morning about 10:00 AM
What you are looking at is the little bridge I cross to get on the main road leading to my work about 3 minutes driving time away.
They closed it the first of the month for replacement. It will take 6 months and what they have been doing is driving girders into the ground with a pile driver.
Now they are demolishing the old bridge and erecting the new suspension arches.
Needless to say they don't do this silently. Makes it a lot of fun getting my sleep every day.
You can just make out the green arches of the old bridge. At the rate they are going right now the whole bridge will be gone by Friday.
I now have to follow this road the other way about a mile and then double back on the road on the other side of the bridge. It adds about 5 minutes to my commute. If I walked in the old days it took me 14 minutes to get to work. Life is tough.

I came home from work Tuesday morning at 4:00 AM to see this start.
This is South Central Ohio.
I took this from my back door.
That's The Bosses grill under it's cover.

This was about 6:30 AM again from the back porch.

I really need to move south.
It was pushing 80 degrees all last week.
Tonight it should get down to 32 degrees.

I've got The Golden Compass to watch though.
I like that movie though I like the book a lot more.
Not much of a post but here's my new favorite Stumbleupon Picture.

posted by Nit Wit at 2:28 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Saturday, April 26, 2008

How the hell did he do that?
posted by Nit Wit at 3:03 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Friday, April 25, 2008
I can't figure out why they were banned.

That's some underwear.

Time for a new air freshener

Hasn't worked for me yet.

posted by Nit Wit at 4:00 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The only thing I did was remove the background and join them together.
The Hillary picture was included with an article speculating on the possibility of her being a lesbian.
I would never alter anyone’s awesome boobage.
I think I bookmarked about a million Photoshop tutorials and this is the one that I used for this.
Scared to click?
posted by Nit Wit at 6:19 PM | Permalink | 7 comments
I finally got something to work in Photoshop.

Click to biggie size it.
Of course I might have violated a couple of Copyrights to do it.
posted by Nit Wit at 3:37 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
posted by Nit Wit at 8:28 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
I know it's lame but what the hell.

Rednecks, General asshats
Circle I Limbo

Creationists, Scientologists
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

The New York Yankees
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

The Pope, Republicans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Uday Hussein, Qusay Hussein
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Osama bin Laden
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands

Saddam Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

posted by Nit Wit at 1:14 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Monday, April 21, 2008
I got this at Liquid Illuzion

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow

You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer

A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.

Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done

You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?
posted by Nit Wit at 7:58 AM | Permalink | 9 comments
The computer offers another kind of creativity. You cannot ignore the creativity that computer technology can bring. But you need to be able to move between those two different worlds.
Tadao Ando

I guess I’ll have to write my own post, Stumbleupon is down for a while. They have a cute way to tell you too. When you press the Stumble button a screen comes up that says,
“We’ll be right back. In the meantime why don’t you go outside and play for awhile.”

I’ve had something that I wanted to write about for over a month but wanted to noodle it for awhile.

There is a weekly feature called First Person Artist in the Living section of The Huffington Post, written by Kimberly Brooks that I first read on March 8th. The Post that caught my attention was “Why Artists Shouldn’t Have Blackberries.” It caught my attention because of a comment that Kali made about Blackberries just before that.

The article is a little long to reproduce here but the gist was that when she finally broke down and got a Blackberry like all her friends she found it and other technology interfered with her creative process. Something about checking email all the time. She returned it two days after getting it. She also says a true artist would own an iphone and disable the email function. She also has another interesting post titled “The Creative Process in Eight Stages” That I recommend to not only artists but anyone who attempts anything creative.

I started thinking about what she had to say about technology interfering with the creative process and looked at my own experience in this regard.

I was always creative while growing up. As my mother before me I painted and I wrote fiction all the time. I also much like my sons spent time almost every day drawing in various media.

In 1975 I joined the Air Force because there was no chance of higher education and everything pointed toward no real future in jobs in this area.
In the Air Force I was a Computer Communications Specialist before there was such a thing as a home computer and most systems were unique. I still spent a lot of time drawing and writing at first, but as I got more involved with high tech equipment the less drawing and writing I actually did. It soon became a case of thinking about doing my artistic interests and less and less actual work. Funny, I had always assumed that I was just lazy and a world class procrastinator.

I also got to thinking about the long dry spell I have been having when it comes to writing this blog and realized that my blogger block coincided with a period where I was adding new and more state of the art equipment to my personal computer empire.

So the dilemma that I face is do I abandon my desire to develop the talents that I have let atrophy over the last 30+ years, or do I at least part of the time turn off and unplug all the toys that have become such a major part of my life?

Beats me but maybe Stumbleupon is right and I should take time to play.
posted by Nit Wit at 5:38 AM | Permalink | 12 comments
Sunday, April 20, 2008
This is a sample of the comics I found on this site.
They sell stuff too.
This is the place!
I so phoned this in.

posted by Nit Wit at 8:17 AM | Permalink | 9 comments
Friday, April 18, 2008

No, I didn't and I had just gotten home from work when it did.

WEST SALEM, Ill. (AP) - Residents across the Midwest were awakened Friday by a 5.2 magnitude earthquake that rattled skyscrapers in Chicago's Loop and homes in Cincinnati but appeared to cause no major injuries or damage.

The quake just before 4:37 a.m. was centered six miles from West Salem, Ill., and 45 miles from Evansville, Ind. It was felt in such distant cities as Milwaukee, Des Moines, Iowa, and Atlanta, nearly 400 miles to the southeast.

It must have hit right after I sat in my rocking recliner so I just thought my chair was rocking.

I've been through a few earthquakes. I've lived in California and felt a few but the place where I felt the most was Japan which has micro quakes every day.

I hope none of you had your world rocked the bad way.
posted by Nit Wit at 10:45 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I'm Gonna Have To Work On This
The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou
posted by Nit Wit at 2:46 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
This is a little strange.
These are the kind of people who live in Ohio and vote for Bush.
I bet he had a lot of fun explaining to his wife.

No Picnic: Man Charged With Screwing a Patio Table

Mar 31st 2008

By Tom Radler

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.

Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school.

In addition to public outrage, we imagine there's considerable jealousy among Price's other lawn furniture. While barbecues and lawn chairs don't have many places for good loving (unless you're big enough for that drink holder), we're sure that plastic gnome hiding in the hedges is wondering why he wasn't chosen. The garden hose, however, is probably pretty relieved.

4/2/08 UPDATE: Authorities have dropped the indecency charges against Price, after deciding the evidence didn't support the case for a felony. Prosecutors say, however, that they may revisit the case later.

Now I understand that if this was happening in plain view of others it would be a problem. They don't really say if there was a fence or not.
What I don't understand is when it became legal to video tape a person without his knowledge. I have to think that a simple call to 911 would suffice.

As you can see by the update they are not even prosecuting.

The table must have been asking for it.
posted by Nit Wit at 2:09 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
This is me a few years ago.

Well it's better than this one.

I should shave sometime soon.
posted by Nit Wit at 8:59 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Now I remember the other reason I hate Hillery.

Click Here (Not a Rick Roll)

How could I forget?
posted by Nit Wit at 8:05 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Most of us are about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock.
James A. Baldwin

As you can see there have been some changes around the Nit home. They weren’t voluntary.
That Airline video I posted was funny but id fried my template and my backup copy wouldn’t work. To top it off the site where I got it has been closed while the templates are moved to a new location.
So I looked at the Blogger templates and was pretty disgusted with the choices.
I have spent a good part of the night looking for a new template. The ones I liked the best were older ones that wouldn’t work on the new Blogger format. I’ll find a better one soon but my eyes are shot from reading code and I have laundry to finish.
I do like my angel in the woods though. Shame I can’t remember where I got it.
He reminds me of someone.

Kali just commented that she’s lost and can’t find her way around in here. That pretty much sums up my feelings too.
I promise I’ll fix it as soon as my peepers can focus on the code again.
I miss my Soulmirror template.
posted by Nit Wit at 6:12 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I'm a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it's bad or good.
Sandra Bullock

This is a little bit strange.

Fancy meeting you here!

A German man survived a 25ft plunge down a lift shaft when he landed on a woman who had fallen down it a day before.

Jens Wilhelms, 27, was unhurt after landing on the 57-year-old woman and managed to free himself from the shaft at the apartment block in Frankfurt am Main where he lived.

He called out rescue services who took the woman to hospital. Doctors said she is in a critical condition after sustaining injuries in her original fall - and then again when Wilhelms landed on her.

Police spokesman Manfred Vonhausen said: "The woman had been lying unconscious in the shaft for some time already.

"Although it made her injuries worse it also probably saved her life that he fell on her as it meant he knew she was there and managed to get help."

Rescue workers said that without Wilhelm's plunge the woman would have died from internal bleeding.

"It sounds really bizarre," one rescue worker said afterwards, "When Wilhelms fell down on her his weight caused additional damage to her body, but without that she could have laid there for days."

Wilhelms said he had slipped as he walked past the lift shaft which had been left open as it was undergoing repairs.

"I live on one the top floor and it was quite a nuisance to always climb the stairs," he said.

"I saw the door open and I just wanted to check whether somebody was finally working on the elevator.

"I took a closer look inside the shaft as it was pitch black, and must have slipped off the edge somehow."

Now, Does the guy have bad Karma or does the woman have good Karma?

I'm trying to fix this template, but I'm afrade it's a lost cause.
posted by Nit Wit at 9:20 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Saturday, April 12, 2008
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge

I think you can appreciate this one.

I went into the gas station today and

asked for five dollars worth of gas....

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
posted by Nit Wit at 6:09 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Friday, April 11, 2008
Let's make some funny pictures.
Tex Avery

When I Stumbleupon the internet I copy a lot of funny pictures and cartoons. These aren’t some of them.

posted by Nit Wit at 7:53 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What about giving the spider Viagra?
posted by Nit Wit at 10:06 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
Yogi Berra

The baseball season has started and I’m finally coming out of hibernation. For those of you who don’t know I am a longtime fan of the Cincinnati Reds. There the oldest team in baseball and I figure they may learn the game soon. This is about another team though.

The N.Y. Mets last year had a lead the National League East most of the season and then had an absolutely spectacular train wreck of a finish to not even make the playoffs. This cost them a lot of fans. I can’t believe that anyone would root for the N.Y. Yankees. It hurts to type that even.

The Mets are trying to draw back fans with a lot of contests and specials. One contest that started on March 31st is to decide what song to play as a sing-a-long in the middle of the 8th inning.
Some of the choices were:

Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”
Bruce Springsteen’s “Waitin’ on a Sunny Day”
There were eight more but the contest ended on April 7 and are not on their site anymore.
They also included a place to write in your own choice.

As you may have guessed this attracted the attention of a certain type of web dweller.
digg.com, deadspin.com and fark.com. more than 8000 responses were recorded at dig.com alone.
Last nights Mets opener of their final season in Shay stadium was where the winning song was announced in the 8th inning.
Mets spokesman Jay Horwitz Said the team would play the winning song even if the song isn't a hit with the fans. "Whatever song wins, it will be honored," Horwitz said. "I'm sure it will be a legitimate song."

One of my favorites so far.

The 59,000 Mets fans had a mixed reaction with many boo’s

I found the song fitting though. The team really pissed a lot of fans off last year but there is still a core of true fans.

The lyrics fit if you remember it’s the fans singing.

Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitments what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We’ve know each other for so long
Your hearts been aching
But you’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and were gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see

Give you up. give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, five you up

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

When the Mets played the song they explained how they had been punked.
A 59,000 person Rick Roll. Don’t you just love it?

And now for a public service announcement.

My mission is done here.
posted by Nit Wit at 8:47 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.
Joseph Addison

Some people have more money than sense.

What do People Buy on Ebay? Top 10 Crazy
by benjyo909

People are so much fun.
posted by Nit Wit at 12:04 PM | Permalink | 5 comments
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I have no idea where I got this but I can't take seeing pictures of the Hillbitch when I open my blog anymore.
Been a little busy with work and solving computer problems but I may blog again before Morpheus takes me.

Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?
24. While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.
25. In a sentence, the nouns has to match the verbs.
26. Don't use no double negatives.
27. In writing, few things are, so to speak, more infuriating, than, say, commas, at least when there are too many of them, or when they should be, say, semicolons.
28. Proofread your work, so you don't leave some out or forget to finish
29. Run-on sentences are really bad because the reader saturates and what you really should be doing is using commas and semicolons and even periods to break the sentence up into more digestible chunks.
30. To have been using excessively complex verb constructions, is to have been bopping the literary baloney.
31. A friend I spoken with recently told me he been forgetting his helper verbs.
posted by Nit Wit at 6:11 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer.
Ansel Adams

I found this site that lets you caption pictures. you can upload them or take what's there. You just have to watch out for the Cheeseburger cats.
Fun site

Now a little Hillbitch bashing.

The pictures were there, the captions are mine.
posted by Nit Wit at 8:11 AM | Permalink | 9 comments
Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live.
Charles Bukowski

Would you like to stay at a new luxury Hotel the next time you visit New York City(something I don't ever intend to do again) that can boast having Norman Mailer, Edie Sedgwick and Charlie Parker as former guests?
You may consider staying at a new Italian Renaissance-style luxury hotel that may be coming to the East side of Manhattan.
That is if the city can convince a developer to convert the existing building. I smell another great opportunity for the Donald Trump. He could even become a resident.
The city tried to interest someone in creating more condos but couldn't find any takers.
The reason the city is so involved is that the building is the former Bellevue Psych ward.
It’s a great location to serve as accommodations for Medical professionals and families of patients at nearby hospitals and could have facilities for a convention center.
Dr. Frederick Covan who was chief psychologist for 14 years said they had fewer Sax players than ax murderers. "Our patients were not normal New York neurotics, but very sick people-otherwise known as crazy".
Normal New York neurotics would be crazy as a shit house rat in the mid west but that's beside the point.
One other famous resident was Mark David Chapman, John Lennon's murderer.
Dr. Covan also said that though the place might be unsettling to some the location would be a draw to a lot of people. This is from a New York crazy doctor who has probably seen it all.
Boy I can't wait for the advertising. The Bellevue Hilton, it isn't Paris, but she should stay there.
Hey, some old residents will probably recommend the place and come back to visit.

posted by Nit Wit at 5:43 AM | Permalink | 4 comments