Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
WILD WONDERFUL WEIRDNESS
I got tagged so now I have to come up with 6 weird things about the Nitwit.
Sorry it’s taking so long but there’s so much to choose from that I’m a little overwhelmed.
1. I never watch regular network TV. I love Sitcoms but never watch them until they are in reruns. I have a TV on almost all the time and have never seen any reality programs CSI shows or anything like that. The only exception is I may watch part of David Letterman or that Crag fella that comes on after him. I prefer Stand up comedy shows and movies. Especially old movies. I never saw MASH until it had been on for 7 years. I will watch baseball though, especially if my Reds are on.
2. Three of my favorite movies that surprise people who know me are Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, and Practical Magic. Now I really am embarrassed.
3. When I was in school I played sports but didn’t hang out with Jocks and was a geek and science nerd but pretended to not be smart. I didn’t do it consciously but I was so painfully shy that even where I did fit in I wasn’t comfortable. I actually enjoyed being alone most of the time. Somehow I still managed to have a few girlfriends
4. My first wife had boyfriends most of the time we were married and I didn’t get jealous about it. I did take a little more pleasure than I should have when she talked me into Wife swapping, or I guess it should be Husband swapping and then a threesome with another woman and got insanely jealous when it happened. Though I had a good time. I went to Korea for 20 months and she let her girlfriend live in the apartment I was paying for while she lived with a boyfriend in the same building. I filed for divorce right after I got home and took a lot of pleasure in the fact that as soon as her boyfriend’s divorce was final he kicked her out bought a Corvette and got hair plugs. Talk about a mid life crisis. She did ruin my credit though.
5. In the old days when I was free I women in bars seemed to gravitate toward me, not because I was irresistible but because they seemed to think I was safe and they wouldn’t have to fight me off. Used to make some guys jealous when I came in and sat at a table and the ladies would show up. I think about half of the women thought I was gay, didn’t matter they were usually good company. Speaking of gay, I’m not but I think I have been propositioned more than any other straight guy I know. I even got groped ounce while driving and stopped the car and made the guy walk.
6. Finish line at last… I have two teenage sons who for some reason seem to like to hang out with me. I like this though I do ask myself sometimes, If they enjoy being with me does that mean I’m a bad Dad?

Well I didn’t think I could come up with six and they are a little strange but there it is.
I’m not going to tag anyone as most of the people I could tag have already been tagees.
This post will self destruct in 30 seconds.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 7:04 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
GLOOMY GAB
Nothing will work unless you do.
Maya Angelou


Now I’m starting to feel old.
My oldest son who it seems was just getting out of diapers a few years ago started his first real job yesterday. I was just thinking about it and realized he will be 17 on July 2nd. In another year he will have to register for the draft. Now that’s a scary thought with old gump having 999 more days in office to bring on Armageddon.
Where did all the time go? I have had it a little better than some Dads. I have almost always worked nights and taken care of him and his brother (15) in the daytime when The Boss was off working. I did the same with two of my stepdaughter’s kid but now she is living with her fiancé and I don’t get to see them as much.
I guess I’m feeling a little sorry for myself and more than a little worried about both my boys as the current powers that be think they make good cannon fodder. My younger son is 15 and has been approached by the Army recruiters several times at school and given nifty pens and stuff. He loves to write and his older brother is a talented artist. Real talents to help you dodge bombs and bullets.
Well as I said Andrew started work and is very excited to be making his own money. Wait till he discovers deductions. He is a busboy and dishwasher at the USA Steak that his Sisters have worked at for years. Next year he goes to the local vocational school for two years of instruction in Commercial Art.
His brother wants to go into their writing program but has to wait one more year.
That is if the school can keep going. Almost every school system in this part of Ohio is broke and laying off people. This after spending millions to build new schools that in many cases replaced perfectly serviceable buildings, but the grant money was there. No child left behind is a groundbreaking program. Limit the things you teach the kids and limit their opportunities. Sure makes that military enlistment look a lot better.
I guess I’ve just lost some of my confidence about everything working out OK after the last couple of years of illness I have had to deal with.
Now I see that there is a larger and larger chance that my kids hopes and dreams will be forced to take a back seat to survival much like mine were during the Nixon and Ford administrations.
I must need a happy pill but that’s the one kind he seems not to think I need. Maybe Babs can use her new experiments in the art of spell casting to make me cheerful in spite of myself, or Jackiesue will send me a Jackiejoke that hits the spot.
Enough gloom and doom, I think I’ll go to bed and dream a little dream of success and popularity that will counteract all the evil spirits that seem to be in control right now.



My two football players a few years ago.
Nite all be more cheerful than I seem to be!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:26 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Sunday, April 23, 2006
MYSTIC MEANDERINGS
Aquarius
You have a golden touch, but not in a bad way like King Midas. No, you've got a lighter golden touch where everything that passes through your fingers takes on a warm, healthy glow. It might sparkle a little too. What is this magic touch of yours? It could have something to do with the combined powers of belief and imagination. Today, take those powers and turn them into very real results. - By Astrology.com

Your fortune for today...
Happy events will take place shortly in your home.



You know, whenever I get a horoscope or a fortune like this I start to really worry.
I have never had a golden touch, and I’m not sure I ever want anything I touch to glow or sparkle.
I gotta find a new source for horoscopes and daily fortunes.
When I read about happy events at home I start to worry that I have forgotten a birthday or anniversary.
Oh well enough of that mystic stuff.

I posted on my old site at the other place tonight even though I said I wasn’t going to. There have been a few people who said they were blocked from posting over there and I noticed that even though they were blocked the Blogs were still there. Makes Frick & Frack look like they have more members for advertising purposes I guess. I got to thinking though about a lot of people who just stopped posting over the last few months and gee, it looks the same when it’s voluntary and when you’re blocked.

Besides I’ve never had a war with anyone over there and was wondering what I would have to do to be banished. Though there are still a few people I read over there. Funny though, most of them haven’t posted much lately.
It would be nice if they would move over here so I could really do something to get kicked out.

Damn I need to find something to post about.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:17 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Friday, April 21, 2006
KINDA CUTE
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:45 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
INTERVERTED INDULGENCE

I have always argued that change becomes stressful and overwhelming only when you've lost any sense of the constancy of your life. You need firm ground to stand on. From there, you can deal with that change.
Richard Nelson Bolles

I believe that you can get through anything if you have the support of your family.
As some of you know I have had a few little setbacks in my life over the last 15 months. I first had to have neck surgery right before Thanksgiving 2003. It went well and I was home for Turkey day which was a good thing because I’m the best cook in the family, even with a neck brace on. I was off work for 5 months though waiting for the bone to grow together in the space where there used to be a disk. I started Blogging at the evil site during that time and met some of you.
Last Year in October I started on my current odyssey. In the last 7 months I have had 2 stays in the hospital and have been diagnosed with…..
1. Hypertension
2. Autoimmune Hepatitis
3. A Pararectal Abscess
4. Diabetes
5. Hereditary Hemocromatosis
I’m not complaining too much, I just hate to cause so much worry for The Boss, the kids and grandkids. Not to mention the loss of income though I do have sick pay and medical insurance.
I’m now back at work and catching up on a lot of the bills without The Boss working enough overtime to put herself in the grave, but we can’t keep up with everything. I lost my truck and they will be coming after me for more money even though they sold it for more than I owed.
Now we have gotten official notice of the foreclosure of our house which is falling apart anyway. They will auction it on June 2nd. We now have to move which we have known for a while but not when. We will rent a place for about half what this place costs without the maintainence.
This is a good thing as far as I’m concerned because if I end up off work again I don’t want to worry about The Boss trying to work 25 hours a day to keep up with the bills.
I’m just venting, but it’s because I am getting tired of dealing with specialists who think I am secondary to my interesting and rare ailments.
My Doc. Referred me to a blood specialist to set up a treatment program for Hemocromatosis. The treatment that is most effective is phlebotomy. That’s just taking about a liter of blood every so often to reduce iron levels in my body.
I got a call from the specialist’s office yesterday and they canceled my appointment for the 20th because the Doctor is still recovering from knee surgery that he had 2 months ago. They made the appointment a month ago after his surgery. Now they have canceled and told me they would call me later.
The longer I go without treatment the more problems I will have. My GP is now going to refer me to another Doctor but I’ll have to drive over 30 miles each way to see him whenever I get an appointment.
I guess all the problems and delays are getting me a little down right now.
I try no stay upbeat for the family. One trip to the hospital I passed out and the first thing I heard on waking up was my oldest stepdaughter crying and saying over and over Dad doesn’t ever get sick.
I don’t ever want to hear that again. Of course it was an impression (not true) I have tried to project to everyone around me.
It’s time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and got on with it (life that is.) or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
I sure hope my spellchecker can handle all the words I’m typing.
I try to remember that it looks darkest before the storm but the sun looks twice as bright afterwards.
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!! Or, fuck me till I grow a brain
Nite all!!!.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:08 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
MOON MADNESS?

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams


I think NASA has finally figured out a way to operate that may allow them to have a few more successful missions. When they sent the Mars Rovers they dropped out of orbit and were slowed by parachutes and then bounced enclosed in a group of air bags.
The Mars Rover mission has been one of the few successful missions NASA has had in the last few years. They have had major errors that caused the Hubble Telescope to be useless until another very expensive mission was sent to fix it. They have had Landers that were destroyed because of stupid mistakes in math, and have had a lot of satellites just not work after launch. This is without even taking into account the deaths that have resulted from allowing contractors to get away with poor design and shoddy workmanship.
Don’t get me wrong there have also been some amazing successes and I think the space program is very important. I think the last thing that should continue is a space program run by an agency more interested in looking good than performing their mission.

As I said the NASA brain trust has figured out that it will be easier to have successful missions if a crash is what is planed in the first place.
The next moon mission is like that. First a craft will be deployed to orbit the moon, and then another will be launched at the surface to impact and send up a plume of material that will be passed through by the rocket section of the craft which will analyze the plume looking for water. Then the rocket will act as a second impactor and the satellite section will analyze the plume from that.
They want to find water to help in future manned missions to the moon.
This way they get to say the Lander crashed into the moon and it will be a good thing even if it misses its intended target by half the Moon.

I think they should stop giving contractors such outrageous amounts of money and just send a little probe with a dowsing stick attached to the front of it. That’s always been the surest way to find water anyway.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 6:35 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Random Ruminations

Faithful horoscope-watching, practiced daily, provides just the sort of small but warm and infinitely reassuring fillip that gets matters off to a spirited start.
Shana Alexander


Aquarius
You have never been particularly immature, but lately you've been noticing a certain shift in yourself. This change could really crystallize when you see yourself behaving in an unfamiliar way in a familiar situation. Maybe you're calmer. Maybe you don't take things as personally. Maybe you stay objective. Maybe you're seeing what it's like to really be a grownup. - By Astrology.com


I don’t wanna be a grownup for any reason.! If I did that I might do something like become a responsible citizen who acts in a sane and rational way.
I don’t know why I read my horrible scope anyway it’s never even close to being right.

I think from now on I will just figure on the opposite of whatever the
prediction is. I can’t be any further off than the professionals at astrology.com.

I think Ohio is going to follow a lot of the country and just skip spring this year.
I’d blame it on global warming but, the experts in Washington (you know the politicians who know more than the scientific experts) say it needs more study. Lucky they are never wrong about anything.
I am starting to see some green stuff on the trees and bushes around here, and the flowering trees are starting to bust out in pretty colors.
The squirrels are being squirrelly and the birds are disturbing the peace and keeping poor little me up all day. If it gets a little hotter I’ll be able to run a fan and drown out all the inconsiderate noise of mother nature.

I’ve been reading The Davinci Code and am about half through. I would read it faster but I have to spend a lot of time reading news and all my favorite Blogs on the computer. I am enjoying it so much that I went out and bought Dan Brown’s earlier books Angels & Demons and Deception Point and will get Digital Fortress when I can find it.
I might even go see the movie when it comes out and I only go to about 2 movies a year.

Your fortune today:

Someday, those photos will get out.


This worries me a little because my fortune is right about 50% of the time, though I don’t know what pictures their talking about. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
If they do come out I suppose I’ll have to post them on my Blog and explain how there fakes made by all my enemies.
Like Jackiesue says, maybe it is one of those “Hey remember that time you got so drunk?” Of course they would have to be a lot more specific for me to have a clue.
The next week should be quite at work, well except for the radio station I found that plays nothing but 70’s and 80’s rock that I play too loud. It is a slow week for bread and buns and donuts though, so I should have a fairly easy time. On the 20th I get to finally see the blood specialist I was referred to for my Hemocromatosis, and will be able to start a regular treatment program and maybe find out how much damage my high iron levels have done to me.
Well I guess I’ve rambled on enough for now. My trouble with not snoozing enough is I don’t post as much as I would like and my comments to others are a little strange.
Everybody have a happy Easter but don’t eat too many jellybeans and marshmallow peeps!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 7:10 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Sunday, April 09, 2006
NOW I'M SCARED
I was on-line and making a comment on Rubybites post about George Bush and praying and the little counter from Blog Mad when I went back to my blog was at 666. Hope I wake up this tonight.
Way past my bedtime but I had to refill some of my meds and for some reason they don't work all night.
Oh, well nite all.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 10:04 AM | Permalink | 11 comments
URANUS HAS A BLUE RING!
I was a little confused about how BBC News knows this. Then I read on and discovered that Saturn has one too.
All the other rings around planets are red due to the size of the particles that reflect the light back.
Blue rings are caused by a moon in the same orbit as the ring particles which strike the moon. The larger ones are captured by the moon and the smaller ones bounce back into the ring structure. Smaller pieces reflect blue light. The moon making Uranus’s blue ring is named Mab.
Still confused, I read they discovered this ring with the Hubble Space Telescope. I was thinking... why would they turn it to look down at Earth?
So, remember, if you moon Uranus will develop a blue ring.
Maybe I’m still confused.

 
posted by Nit Wit at 2:43 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
CONFUSED CASTING
Movies are like an expensive form of therapy for me.
Tim Burton


Somebody want to check Hell and see if it froze over? I have a strange feeling that it has or will soon.
I was just reading a story about an Indian movie director who is planning a movie about Mother Teresa’s life. Seems like an admirable project to honor someone who very well could become a Saint.
Now I am not a casting director or any other kind of movie expert except I watch a lot of movies. I have about 400 on DVD and lots of cable channels. I think I have a problem with T. Rajeevnath’s idea of casting though.
He has announced to the public that he wants Paris Hilton to star as Mother Teresa. He says she showed a close facial match to the famous Nun who dedicated her life to serving God and helping the poor.





That may be true but I think there are a lot of others just as good. She may be a good facial match but she has nothing in common otherwise. Where will she get her motivation? What am I saying I’ve seen her movies and motivation is the last thing on her mind?



I saw Waxwork and the movie was cheesy but my biggest complaint was that they waited so long to kill off Paris. The other movie she did that I saw (I can’t even remember the name) she got killed nice and early and I turned it off and watched something else. She didn’t even act very well in her internet sex video.

If she gets the part and he actually completes the film then rest assured that the devil will be looking for long johns and mittens.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 7:20 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
JUSTIFABLE JINX
People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
Rogers Hornsby

I think the Cincinnati Reds have jinxed the whole season before the first game even started. I just finished watching them lose a squeaker to the Chicago Cubs 16 to 7
That’s how I watch games; I record them while at work and then watch them in the morning. It sometimes gets to be a real challenge not to learn the score before I get home.
Where was I? Oh yea the jinx.




The first sitting President to throw out the first pitch in the Reds 130 years is the Gump.
He actually had the gall to at the last minute invite a few of the disabled Vets who were there to unfurl a giant flag during the Anthem out on the field to stand behind the mound. One had an artificial leg and the camera stayed focused on it as he walked out.
I always think his point in doing this must be, see how I make solders lives better.
Anyway I think the Reds, who had an outside chance of getting to the playoffs are doomed to finish in the basement.
That won’t stop me from watching every game I can and going to see them live when I can. I’m weird that way.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 9:36 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Monday, April 03, 2006
YAWNING YUKS
I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
Winston Churchill

I have no idea for a post but I love this quote.
Winston had some of the best quotes.
I wonder if being drunk most of the time had something to do with it?
It is past my bed time. Can you tell?
Nite all, maybe I’ll dream of drunken pigs that speak like Winston Churchill.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 9:06 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
CONTRARY CHRONOTYPES
How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.
Bram Stoker


I now know why I started smoking when I was a teenager.
Some smart guys at Ludwig Maximillians University in Munich did a study that they say shows that people who are forced to operate in conflict with their body’s normal clock are much more likely to smoke. They found that only 10% of people who operate within one hour of there natural body clock were smokers while around 70% of people who operated with 7 hours or more of social jet-lag started smoking.
I have been a so called night owl all my life which the smart fellows say is mostly determined by my genetic makeup, but society forced me to get up and go to school at an ungodly hour when I am much more inclined to sleep. So at 14 or 15 I started smoking and they tried to blame peer pressure and the monsters at the big tobacco companies.
I quit several years ago and in hindsight I see now that the thing that made my last attempt work when all the others failed is that I stopped trying to live by other peoples idea of normal and just followed my natural clock. Now it made that a lot easier having a job that conformed to that clock as well.
So, societies unrelenting attempt to make everyone conform to what the so called majority thinks is normal is to blame for uncountable addictions to the evil tobacco and everything that brings to us night owls.
I think I see a class action case here. We just have to figure out who to sue.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:41 AM | Permalink | 3 comments