Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Friday, August 29, 2008
I'm Scared
America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.
Harry S. Truman

I just watched the Obama speech from last night and I really enjoyed hearing it.
But I'm also very troubled right now. All night at work I kept hearing an announcement on the radio that kinda puzzled me.
Apparently The devil's minion is coming to Cambridge, (where I do most of my nitwitery) sometime today. Yes I mean John McCain. Now I'm at a loss as to why he would come here though the GOP is very dominant here. Then I thought back to 4 years ago when The Gump came here and gave a stump speech about 150 yards from my bedroom window while I was trying to sleep in the house that his policies and my health problems took away from me. I wonder if it is just getting hard to find a friendly place for a Republican to campagne.
The other thing that bothered me was that though they kept harping on the fact that he would be here today they would not, or more likely could not say where he was going to be speaking.
So, this being payday and me needing to be out and about paying bills and wasting money on things I just can't live without I was going about my business always looking over my shoulder and fearing that I would actually see the man and somehow turn to stone or a pillar of salt.
Well I got back to the rented shack I call Nitwit headquarters without getting even a glimpse of the Bus Of Lies, but I locked all the doors and windows and haven't even peeked out to see how the bridge construction is going. I hope I make it to work OK tonight My boss is one of the GOP bigwigs around here and I know if McCain is here he will be front row center having an orgasmic experience.
I wonder if he'll turn into a zombie.
posted by Nit Wit at 11:28 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Sunday, August 24, 2008
This documentary is a little long.
You will get a laugh or a nightmare from this but you might learn something too.
posted by Nit Wit at 6:52 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Just in case you need more proof that we live in a crazy world
I found this here and thought you might enjoy it.


In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.
Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick??)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(…so they’ll never know they went blind?)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time…
Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere
else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Now this is justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending
machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.”
(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hummm….I won’t touch THAT one!)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its right
side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of…? Wonder how much the the govt.
paid for this relevant bit of research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don’t have brains.
(I know some people like that, too)

If I had read this when I spent that week working in Guam I may have never left.
posted by Nit Wit at 4:28 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Friday, August 15, 2008
My kind of morning show.

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man

If this is what morning news is like I may start watching them.
posted by Nit Wit at 12:28 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
Friday, August 08, 2008
Funny stuff.
Off to work.

posted by Nit Wit at 6:37 PM | Permalink | 6 comments
Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I only stop to review when my 700 Gigabytes of storage start to fill up.
posted by Nit Wit at 1:21 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Family Frustrations
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield

I'm going to do something I don't do.
I'm going to show off my family.

First up is the Pain in the ass daughter who has three kids from three fathers who are worth about as much as my ball sweat.
I would be kind to refer to as human.

She makes great Grandkids though.

This is number 2 son who is 17 and prooving to be a talented photographer. He does seem to fall in love with black and white though.

This is number one son and number two daughter along with her son who is my semi lost grandson. She has her boyfriend and all his relatives for support so I don't get to see him as much as I would like.

Number one son again. He is now off at school at The Art Institute of Pittsburg. Where he is learning all about life.

This is The Boss in white with Her girlfriend who we saw in Florida last year along with her girlfriend's daughters.

This is my two Grandaughters. Almost 1 and 14. They both have Grandpa wraped around their fingers.

This is my best buddy and a true baseball lover. He is the reason I have been so busy lately. My daughter’s latest asshole is making his life a little rough.
We will overcome though.
There is an advantage to being smarter than most of the people around you, but it involves making the people around you feel smart.
I have laid the groundwork with the family and am about to give a lot of ignorant rednecks a big surprise.

This is some old coot with a very special young lady. He must be a degenerate he has a ponytail.

Goodbye for now. See how smart my Granddaughter is.

posted by Nit Wit at 6:50 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Click if you dare.

I hope the goat doesn't have to go to the bathroom.
posted by Nit Wit at 7:34 PM | Permalink | 2 comments