Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
BAD COMPUTER, NO DONUT
Bad computer, no donut
By: Michael Hampton Posted: January 21, 2006 1:00 pm

Keene, N.H., police officers going to Dunkin’ Donuts ran into a problem: The store’s computers went haywire anytime they pulled in.
The wireless network used by the police computers interferes with the computers inside Dunkin’ Donuts whenever they come in range.
Police going to Dunkin’ Donuts now have to disconnect their computers from the network before going to Dunkin’ Donuts.
According to city officials, the wireless network is about as slow as dial-up, and is also spotty in places. “The spottiness is the root of the problem,” Rebecca Landry, Keene’s director of information management, told the Associated Press.
Police need to be able to use their computers to check for warrants and stolen vehicles wherever they are, even conceivably from Dunkin’ Donuts.
The police department has plans for an upgraded wireless network that would be faster, could be used by other departments as well, and wouldn’t interfere with Dunkin’ Donuts. If the city council approves, the system could be installed as early as next fall.
Then the police could quit using the drive-thru and actually go in to Dunkin’ Donuts again.
Filed under: Humor, Homeland Stupidity, Law Enforcement


Whoever is in charge of this circus sure has a sense of humor.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 5:12 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Kinda Funny
Kinda Funny

Top joke in CanadaWhen NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Top American jokeA man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:41 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
WHY CAN'T I OWN A CANADIAN?

And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant; the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords - Alan Wilson Watts


Found on Humanists of Utah web site: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/index.htm


Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002
Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fanJim

I have seen stuff like this before but have yet to hear a rational explanation from the crowd who think the bible is the actual word of God. I have never been to this site though.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:38 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Predominantly Pissy Post

Politicians and diapers.
Two things we change
for the same reason.

Bumper sticker I saw yesterday.

I really like that one.
Here in Ohio the home of Diebold the election fixers we get to replace Governor felon this year along with the attorney General, and it looks like we will need a new Senator or two after the lobbyist’s scandals in Washington hit the fan.
I can’t imagine why we need to replace the Governor and A.G. I mean they have gotten rid of that pesky budget surplus we had when they took over. Besides, they have made us number one in a lot of things.
A Governor convicted of a felony while in office.
A Republican dominated state government that has ignored a court order to spread the money for education among all schools evenly instead of giving the majority of it to schools in high income areas for 6 years.
The state of Ohio is Number 1 in lost jobs not counting the Chevy and Ford layoffs that are coming.
We are also number 1 in foreclosures.
And had more voting complaints than any other state.
Last years election even fooled the newspaper polls by state newspapers that has never been more than 1 or 2 points off on the outcome of votes. Their results were opposite of what the announced results turned out to be. The state uses the voting machines that Calf. Banned as not secure without any paper trail.
They say the whole state will be using them by the 2008 election.
I can’t wait to see how that one comes out.
The fastest growing business around here is the payroll advance places. There have been at least 10 of them open in the last 5 years and this town only has about 18,000 people in it.
The same question keeps running through my leaky melon.
Are you better off now than you were last year?
Easy to answer that ones. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Sorry, didn’t mean to yell.
One thing that I think though is that Jack Abramoff is going to give everyone up. He’s already trying to sell his pictures with Bush, and you know he and his partner have documented everything. Hey, if it will get him a lighter sentence he is sure to go for it. I think he’s pissed that the politicos didn’t stop the investigations and hung him out to dry, and he’s not an aid who can be used as a scapegoat.
I finished Stephen Kings Cell this morning and it was good, not his best work but interesting. There is a preview of his next book in the back. It comes out on October 24. I haven’t made up my mind about it being my kind of book yet.
Now I have to figure out what to read next. I have a lot of books here at home, I’m talking several hundred if I include the paperbacks, and I must have 30 that I haven’t read yet. Mostly there mystery books that I buy for a quarter each at the library. Some donated and some removed from the shelves. Lots of them are by people I have never read before. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Blog at ya later.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:03 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Thursday, January 26, 2006
PARALLEL PREDICTIONS
AquariusSomeone has been paying some very careful attention to you for a while now -- from afar. They've made a mental list of everything about you, from your favorite movies to your favorite kind of ice cream. Anyone who's put this much energy into getting to know you would obviously make quite an attentive lover. Think of them as a secret admirer. The good news is that they're ready to tell you all about it. Are you ready to hear it? - By Astrology.com

Your fortune for today.
Someone thinks you are very special and lets you know it.

Now this is getting to be too much. My Horoscope and fortune for today match just about perfectly and they come from different web sites.
I think I slipped into the twilight zone sometime in the not to distant past.
Well, at least the zone has Blogging and my favorites have slipped in with me.
Went to my Docs for blood tests yesterday and got the results this morning.
The nurse used a word I don’t hear often. She said my blood tests looked normal.
Good news but I’m not used to anything about me being described as normal.
My sleep has been a bit off for the last few days. I go to bed later and get up after 8PM. It’s messed up my routine as far as my blood sugar levels and they have been just a little high. I have to go to sleep soon as I am going to bingo tonight with The Boss and she said if I don’t get up I stay at home.
Gonna be tough though I got Stephen Kings new book Cell and so far it’s good. I always read a little before I go to sleep. I might still be up when it’s time to go tonight.
Type at you later.

 
posted by Nit Wit at 10:30 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Nitwits Night Noodleing


Your fortune for today...
Someday, those  photos will get out.



This was my fortune today on MyWay.com. I don’t know what there talking about. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Well, I did spend about a third of my time in the Air Force a little tipsy so who knows.

I got sidetracked overnight for about 2 hours.
My younger stepdaughter who is a 26 year old mother of one boy was diagnosed as by-polar about a year ago. She quit going to her doctor and quit taking the meds he had her on because she couldn’t drink her beer while on them, and she was not ready to stop drinking. Anyway, she called about 11:00 PM just to have someone to talk to while she was bouncing off the walls because she was out of beer. I ended up talking to her for more than two hours. During that time she talked about something that happened last week,
She was up all night fighting with her boyfriend who she’s lived with for years about the way she acts sometimes. I guess he basically expected her just to snap out of it, but he drinks as much as her and always has people around for parties and such. Anyway, she called my other stepdaughter to come and take her to the hospital so she could be referred to the regional detox center and get the help she needs. Well she woke my other stepdaughter up so she was slow getting there. By the time she got there her boyfriend had talked her out of going. I think he just didn’t want to have to take care of there son alone.
Last night I talked to her as I always do to go back to her doctor and get back on her meds. I told her about all the people I know on Blogs who have the same problems and how you help each other through the rough times and all the experience that you have with meds. I also told her what I have learned about the trial and error way the doctors have to find the most effective treatments for the individual. Gee, reading Blogs is educational.
She’s not really ready to go back to her doctor or quit drinking (until the next crisis).  I did encourage her to start a Blog and to check out some of the Blogs that are out there. I don’t want her to have another crisis like last week but I’m afraid that’s the only way she is going to get the help she needs. If I start pushing her harder than I do now she will just stop calling me and it seems to help her some.
Now I won't be able to sleep worrying about those pictures.
Night all!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 11:28 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Sunday, January 22, 2006
OPPS
I spent so much time reading other peoples blogs that I forgot to post one of my own, and I had three subjects planed and researched.
I guess everyone will have to live without my words of wisdom for another day.
Way past my sleepy time. Nite all (sorta). :)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
posted by Nit Wit at 10:15 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Friday, January 20, 2006
Draining Poison



We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
    -- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius


This seems more true today than ever before. I’m not just talking about the people who voted the politicians into office, but also the people who really control the actions of our public servants from the local level up to the highest office in the land. You know the one with the ventriloquists dummy in it. Eisenhower, on his last day in office warned us about them.

I’m talking about big business of course. If a local town or city will not cave in and give a company big tax breaks and other incentives they just don’t build their plant or store in that community, and if they are already there they close up and go elsewhere.

This has happened a lot in Ohio. Here where I live we have had at least 6 major employers close up shop and move their operations elsewhere, mostly down south or overseas. We lost a planed Honda plant when the Mayor and City Counsel refused to give any more tax cuts and other bribes than had already been agreed upon. Haven’t heard a word from them in a couple of years.

Everyone knows how the lobbyists for all these organizations buy influence (a nice way to say bribe) and how the politicians run their charities and non profits as welfare funds for their friends and relatives and finance their own parties operations.

Funny, it makes them rich and costs the taxpayers billions now and far into the future.

What is really nifty is that they have appointed congressmen both in the House and Senate to plan reforms who are some of the biggest takers of money and special favors from the lobbyists. They are giving back the few thousand dollars that Abramoff made as personal contributions to their war chests and keeping the millions that his clients have given to both parties.

If their not doing the bidding of big business they are busy pandering to the most vocal segments of the population. They are usually the most extreme right or left wing organizations or some that defy being categorized.

Well, this rant is just for me to get some of the poison out of my system. Every time I think the people in government have done something hard to believe, they manage to top themselves by doing something even more unbelievable.

Besides, Jackiesue told me I had to come back and post something and stop being so lazy, and I’m scared of her. LOL!

My health is getting better, but everyone else in the house has chest colds and sore throats. I am surprised that I haven’t caught something with my suppressed immune system.

See ya in the funny papers!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:23 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Friday, January 13, 2006
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

I’m getting worried about the people at my local newspaper. This area has always had a lot of people with strong religious convections. The local paper gives up pages of space for schedules of all the Christian churches in the area and features a lot of stories about church activities. They even have a little thought for the day on the front page, and it is always an inspirational quote from the bible. I don’t mind this, but I do think they over do it sometimes. The reason I’m worried is some of the things in the paper are taking on a darker aspect. I’ll give you an example or two.
Thought For The Day 1/11/06 and 1/12/06.
If a man commits adultery with another mans wife-
with the wife of a neighbor
  • Both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.
Lev. 20:10

So the Lord said, “I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”
Genesis 6:7

Seems a little harsh for the local news rag. The messages used to be uplifting and inspirational. Now it seems like the depression has spread to the staff of the paper.
I’m beginning to think that the depression epidemic has more to do with what is happening to this country than the weather.
Then again as always I may be full of shit.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 5:59 AM | Permalink | 9 comments
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Check this out
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:32 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
SEMI-COHERENT SEEPAGE
My Horiscope
It's time to tear the roof off this sucker. You've been so good and dutiful; now it's time to let off some steam. Pick the way that appeals to you most. Maybe it's time for a night on the town with your nuttiest pals.
By: Kim Rogers-Gallagher, Astrology.com


So, where was this horoscope a few months ago before I got sick? I always get one that seems to come true, but always on the wrong day.
Of course this one applies to me every day but I can’t enjoy a drink.
The other problem is that most of my nuttiest pals I only know online and sleep at all hours mostly when I’m up, except Babs and Jackiesue some of the time.
Enough of that anyway.
I went to have my wound checked Monday, and the culture they took on Friday turned up new infections. My doctors get worried about stuff like that with my reduced immune system. Now, instead of the 7 pills a day I was taking I get to take lucky 13 and hope the bacteria haven’t mutated into super bugs. Used to be the bug that bit me died but not any more.
People are noticing that a whole lot of people who Blog here are either clinically depressed and having a bad period, or just down in the dumps for other reasons.
I had noticed this too, and even found it so when I started checking Bogs I’ve never been to at random. Not all Blogs and not everyday on any of them, but enough to get my attention. I think at least part of it is caused be the strange weather that we have been getting this year. I don’t think anyone who’s Blogs I read is having normal weather this year. I know that depression is caused by chemical imbalances at least partially, but what about a climate imbalance making things even worse.

Of course I could just be full of shit, as has been pointed out to me many times.
Time for me to go to bed and read more Koontz to give me sweet dreams.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:04 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Monday, January 09, 2006
STRANGE FORTUNE
My fortune for Jan. 1st 2006
Those voices you hear make sense.

This fortune surprised me. I have it on my My Way home page. If you never tried it, it is just like all the others except it has no ads on it.
This is the strangest fortune I have ever gotten though. The horoscopes are getting a little strange too, though I can’t really put my finger on how.
I have become a little tired of political Blogging lately I mean some of the stupidities going on right now boggle the mind.
I’m thinking of sticking up the local 7/11. If the police start closing in on me I’ll just give the money back and everything will be forgiven. It seems like that’s the way it works in Washington so why not here?
Well that’s what the voices I hear tell me. They also say I should Blog about other things if I’m sick of politics. I don’t know about that, but the voices say it’s the way to go.
My health is getting a little better every day, but I don’t know if it will get good enough for me to go back to work any time soon. I saw my doctor about a week ago. He asked me how I was doing and I told him I was just waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
He thought that was pretty funny, but I wasn’t joking.
I’ve been spending a lot of time reading Blogs and once in a while even commenting on them. I just haven’t been writing my own much.
My mind seems clearer now that my steroid pills have been reduced to 5 MG. I find I’m reading books again and that’s good. I’ve always been a big reader and just couldn’t keep my concentration long enough to enjoy a good book. My daughter got me Dean Koontz’s new book Forever Odd. I enjoyed it a lot. He is one of the few authors I will buy the hardcover book the day it comes out without even reading the dust jacket to see what it’s about. I have read One Door Away From Heaven and Odd Thomas again now and am starting By The Light Of The Moon now. After I finish that I can’t decide weather to keep re-reading his books (I have all of them.) or move on to Tom Clancy or Stephen King or maybe all the Harry Potter books.
I must be getting bored more than I realized though not working, I started painting a landscape in Oils the other day. So far I’m not completely happy with it, but I haven’t lifted a brush in 20 years so I have to relearn things and get my eye back.
That’s my biggest trouble with painting and writing, I am never happy with my results though others seem to like what I do. If I let anyone see it. I won’t even paint if there is anyone around to watch. I guess I’m to self conscience about it.
My shyness comes and goes but it has been really bad lately, it causes me to not respond to Emails and trying to work up the nerve to enter a chat room and interact with people is almost impossible. But like I say it comes and goes. I’ve just been pushed to wanting to become a hermit by all the hospital and medical stuff I have had to endure the past few months. Too many people seeing and touching too much of me.
Well, I guess I have rambled enough to bore people to tears. It’s almost bed time and The Maltese Falcon is almost over. I love old movies and have a bunch on disk. Tonight it’s been a strange mix. The Hitch Hikers guide to the Universe followed by The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon. Night all!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 10:16 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Media Mediorcrity
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
Robert A. Heinlein

Well, my decision a long time ago to not watch the news on TV has been justified again. I was watching Letterman on a channel from Wheeling when it was interrupted by a news flash. I broke my rule and switched to CNN. I’m sure everyone has heard the story about the coal miners by now.  All the news channels I checked went with the story of the rescue teams finding 12 of the trapped men alive. As far as I could tell the only source they had was people outside the church where the family were waiting. The got no confirmation from the mine owners or the state, although the Governor was told the same thing.
I can’t begin to understand the emotional roller coaster the families went through. Especially when you consider the way they found out the truth from the Company CEO three hours later.
I think I’ll go back to getting most of my news from The Daily Show and the internet.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 7:55 AM | Permalink | 6 comments