Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I was going to do a long post about some of the so called leaders of the religious right over the last 15 years or so, but I got sidetracked by my complete suprise when I checked out quotes over the years by all these good men.
I got stuck on Pat Robertson but there are a few more who I am suprised can stay in business after saying the things that they do. Now you should understand that it is a business to them and not being in the public eye is death.
Check out the statements of just one of the Godly leadership.

Sorry, I can't get the link to work.
posted by Nit Wit at 8:43 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

Now you know why I call her The Boss.
On Monday she had a stress test in the morning and her EKG came back abnormal, so they did a Heart Catheterization in the afternoon. The good news is her arteries are clean as a whistle.
Which begs the question, what caused her problem?
She came home Monday evening and is resting. The Doctors are treating her for angina which tells me that they don’t have a clue. She will rest a few days and then back to the prison to scare all the murderers, rapists and drug dealers. I’m going to have my hands full trying to keep her from working too much. Thanks to budget cuts designed by the politicos to make private prisons more attractive there are lots of overtime shifts to work.

She seems to be doing OK now and thanks for all the support to everyone.
Its way past my bedtime so I better quit and get my beauty sleep. Night all!
posted by Nit Wit at 10:15 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Monday, June 26, 2006
My Stepmother sent me this and I thought I would share.

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic
> tables, barbecue pit, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.
> The pond was properly shaped and designed for swimming when it was built.
> One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over.
> He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring
> back some fruit.
> As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As
> he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young girls skinny dipping in his
> pond. As he approached, he made the girls aware of his presence.
> At once, they all went to the deep end. One of the girls shouted to him,
> "We're not coming out until you leave." The old man frowned, "I did not
> come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of
> the pond naked." Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
> Moral: Old men can still think fast.
posted by Nit Wit at 5:19 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Life Lessons
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
Mohandas Gandhi

It’s been a Little exciting around here the last few days. I went to work Friday night and not long after I got a call from my daughter that The Boss who was working a double shift at the prison was being taken to the hospital because her blood pressure went over 200 and she had heavy legs and pressure in her chest. She’s OK but still in the hospital and will have a heart cath. on Monday. They think she might have had the beginnings of a heart attack and need to check for blockages. They checked about 5 years ago and she didn’t have any but her EKG has changed now.
After I got her settled in the hospital I had to go back to work but it didn’t matter as Jackiesue's naked rain dance must have missed and our bakery in Lima was without power for 31 hours and I didn’t get my product until after 6 in the morning when it usually comes by 10 PM. She is getting rest now. She works double shifts all the time and I tell her not to as most of the money goes to the Gump and his cronies, and she needs the rest more.
I might as well be talking to the wall though.
In the last 7 months we have both been given a ride in an ambulance.
Getting old is a pain in the ass, in my case literally

For old time sake I’m watching a movie called Motel Hell, It stars Rory Calhoun. If you never saw it I think it’s his best work. It’s actually a very campy slasher sort of movie and funny as hell.

Well I need to get my sleep, I have to be to work in 12 hours and spend time at the hospital before that.
Nite Nite!
posted by Nit Wit at 7:44 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Thursday, June 22, 2006
10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal
I found this on the best of Craglist and thought it was interesting.

10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal
Date: 2005-10-06, 12:53PM PDT

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

Copyright © 2006 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum
posted by Nit Wit at 6:57 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The incestuous relationship between government and big business thrives in the dark.
Jack Anderson

The mid term elections are almost here and the tides are shifting in the only area that politicians pay attention to, big business is shifting its contributions. There has been an increase in the amount of money being given to Democratic candidates. The Republicans still get the lion’s share of the money but the democrats contributions have increased by 5 to 10 %. Overall they get about 1/3 of the PAC money. A lot of big corporations are actually giving more to them than to the Republicans. I guess they think that some of the seats of their pet Congressmen are going to change hands and they have to start bribing the other guy.
Another thing that is changing is that the corporations are starting to forge ties with lobbying organizations who employ and have ties with Democrats, and the big lobbyists who employ Republicans are starting to hire Democrats from Congressional offices.

“Our approach to our political contributions is that we support those who will support us or will give us an ear,” said David Howard for Reynolds American. They used to have the word tobacco in their name.

Now if Joe Blow from Hicksville, USA says this I don’t worry too much, but when it’s a corporation with millions of dollars to spend I start to get annoyed.
It’s been going on for years and years but I am more and more amazed by the brazen openness of the bribery that is going on now.
It seems that the quote at the top of the page no longer applies.
The roaches aren’t scared of the light anymore.
posted by Nit Wit at 4:48 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Monday, June 19, 2006
Father's Day Fun.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Bill Cosby

Hey, I survived another Father’s Day.
I was awakened at the ungodly hour of 5:00 PM and told to get ready because my sons wanted to take me out to dinner before I went to work at 7:30 PM.
Washed and prettified and went out. My oldest son wanted to take me to Bob Evan’s, I had to explain to him that he and his two sisters work at USA Steak so guess where we spend our going out to dinner money.
So by the time we got there I managed to eat one plate from the salad bar and two steaks and baked potatoes and a pretty good chunk of coconut crème pie. Then off to work.
At least I didn’t have to pay the check.
I keep looking around for my Plasma TV and 19” flat panel computer monitor I asked for, for Father’s Day. They must be really good at hiding things though because I can’t find them. Oh well, I can dream. Can’t I?
First night back at work wasn’t bad. The route drivers as they came in to load their trucks all hit their knees and thanked God I was back. One guy even told the boss that if they brought back the same guy to take my place next time I’m off he was going to take the same week.
It’s nice to feel needed. Tonight they will be back to complaining and trying to tell me how to do my job.
I think the nude dancing ritual down Texas way has backfired. Yes they got a little rain but now it’s moved up here. Oh well we need rain too.
The old clock on the wall says it’s past my bedtime and time to get a new clock on the wall. So Nite all. Play nice.
posted by Nit Wit at 7:37 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Sunday, June 18, 2006
In The Begining
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
Robert A. Heinlein

I still can't decide who is right.
Or I should say who is the most wrong.

Choose your poison.
Is this the truth?

Or this?

Or maybe this?

There are other stories about the begining but I'm too lazy to find pictures to depict them.
You decide what is true.
After all, I'm not The Decider.

Still doing lazy posts. Have to end my 2 week vacation tonight so I'm saving my energy for my slave drivers.
Happy PaPa's Day!
posted by Nit Wit at 8:01 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
Saturday, June 17, 2006
It's Only Bussiness
A little musical interlude.

What Are We Fighting For

I cheat this is an easy way to post.
posted by Nit Wit at 4:20 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Friday, June 16, 2006
Tagged Again!
Leo tagged me but I like Superwoman’s questions too so I am doing both hers and Leo’s.
Get out the eye drops it’s a long one.

What curse word do you use the most?
Beats the shit outa me
Do you own an iPod?
Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most?
I don’t use MySpace I don’t want the molesters to find me.
What time is your alarm clock set for?
6:30 PM.
What color is your room?
Flip flops or sneakers?
Sneakers or slip on deck shoes.
Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
I like to take them, less chance of breaking the camera.
What was the last movie you watched?
The Pink Panther. Funny as hell.
Do any of your friends have children?
All my friends are children.
Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Only when I’m working.
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
Nope. Up until last October I rarely even took aspirin, now I take 9 pills a day should have never gotten that checkup.
What CD is currently in your CD player?
Beats the shit outa me. I’ll have to ask my so as he stole it a long time ago.
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Chocolate, but I drink milk of one type or another with every meal.
Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Nope. I hate that, now I don’t have anything to gossip about.
Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Yup. A long time ago and far, far away.
Who was the last person to call you?
The Boss 5 minutes after driving off to go to Bingo tonight.
Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
They better be or I’m not being weird enough.
Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Popeye sometimes, but mostly The Three Stooges.
How many siblings do you have?
One older brother, two younger brother’s one younger half brother, two younger stepbrothers. No sisters of any type. Mom was a little out numbered.
Are you shy around the opposite sex?
Tee hee! Of course.
What movie do you know every line to?
Rear Window, Silver Bullet, Rio Bravo, Any Harry Potter movie. Some because I love them some because I watched them every day while taking care of the kids and grandkids. I’ll let you guess which are which and not mention the other 20 or so.
Do you own any band t-shirts?
What is your favorite salad dressing?
Honey French, but I like any crème dressings. I can’t stand Oil and Vinegar.
Do you read for fun?
Can you read for any other reason?
Do you cry a lot?
Who was the last person to text message you?
My son from his bedroom about 2 years ago. That’s when I uninstalled all the IM software on my computers. They also don’t know I can get text on my phone. I told them if they wanted to talk to me send an E-mail and I’d get back to them.
Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
4 desktops and a laptop. Plus a bunch of old systems as emergency backup.
Are you currently wanting any piercing or tattoo?
Only the tattoo on that babe in the picture on that website. I want to get a closer look at it.
What is the weather like?
Warm and dark with a chance of light towards morning.
Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
No, I would like to see her face. (Note: see other tattoo question.)
Is sex before marriage wrong?
Only if you do it alone.
When was the last time you slept on the floor?
When I missed the bed.
How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
2 or 3. I once went 7 days without sleep. The little green men showed up the last day to sing me asleep.
Are you in love or lust?
Both actually.
Are your days full and fast-paced?
God I hope not. I like to savor the moment until I’m bored to tears. (Which I rarely shed.)
Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
Only when I have too many on the front of my package.
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
One year older. 51 on February 5th.
Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
I hate it when it’s right.
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope, Kings Island Cedar Point and many trips to Bush Gardens, The Old Country when I was stationed in Virginia.
Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Opposite, they seem to fit better.
Do you like cottage cheese?
Love it!
Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
Left side, right side, never tummy or back.
Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Nope I like my space.
What song did you last sing out loud?
Happy Birthday.
What is your favorite TV show?
The Daily Show or almost any standup comedy show.
Which celebrity, dead or alive, would like to have lunch with?
George Carlin, but I would prefer to do it while he’s still alive.
Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
When I ate Chocolate Covered Caterpillars.
What one thing do you wish you had?
Unlimited wishes.
Favorite lyrics?
Cats Cradle by Harry Chapin.

If I were a month, I would be: A long one.
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Monday, that’s just the way I am.
If I were a time of day, I would be: First thing in the morning at 7 PM.
If I were a sea animal, I would be: a Dolphin
If I were a direction, I would be: Up.
If I were a sin, I would be: Sloth
If I were a historical figure I would be: Alexander the Obscure.
If I were a planet, I would be: Uranus
If I were a liquid, I would be: Wet
If I were a stone, I would be: Hard all the time.
If I were a tree, I would be: A Sycamore.
If I were a bird, I would be: A turkey.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Snap Dragon
If I was a kind of weather, I would be: Balmy
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a Harpy
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a Mandolin
If I were an animal, I would be: I am an animal
If I were a color, I would be: blue
If I were an emotion, I would be: boredom
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Nonresponsive
If I were a sound, I would be: A fart
If I were an element, I would be: Copper
If I were a song, I would be: The Wizard by Black Sabbath.
If I were a movie, I would be: Rear Window
If I were a book, I would be written by: Dean Koontz
If I were a food, I would be: Cumquat
If I were a place, I would be: A monument to futility
If I were a taste, I would be: sour
If I were a scent, I would be: See sound above.
If I were a religion, I would be: Funny
If I were a word, I would be: shit
If I were a body part, I would be: an Ass
If I were a facial expression, I would be: Puzzlement.
If I were a subject in school, I would be: Sex Education
If I were a cartoon character, I would be: The Coyote
If I were a shape, I would be: Trapezoid
If I were a number, I would be: 20556
If I were a piece of jewelry, I would be: A nipple ring.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a Lazy Boy recliner.
If I were a car, I would be: Broken down
If I were an item of clothing, I would be: revealing

I now tag anyone who wants to be tagged Most of the people I read have been tagged already.
posted by Nit Wit at 1:47 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Scientific Serendipity
But, how little or how much of a good thing does it take to be bad? For example, water is good to drink. But drink too much of it and you drown!
Jerome Hines

The scientists and medical researchers have been busy publishing articles about their research lately.
So let’s see if I can tie a few of the things I have read into one post.

I was really encouraged when I read that researchers have discovered that beer or more properly the hops used to make the beer contains a compound called xanthohumol.
This compound when taken helps prevent Prostrate Cancer by inhibiting a protein in the cells along the surface of the prostrate. The only catch is that you have too drink at least 17 beers to get enough to benefit your health.
However a group of German scientists have developed a beer that has 10 times as much xanthohumol. Of course it won’t be long before the big drug companies create a pill form of the compound.
I’d rather drink the beer and get all the other benefits of beer. You know, drunkenness hangovers and cirrhosis of the liver.

Wait though; there is good news about that.

Some other bright boys have been conducting a study of coffee drinkers and have found that there is something in coffee that seems to stop people from getting Alcoholic Cirrhosis. They haven’t been able to determine if it is the caffeine or some other substance found in coffee. The data seems to indicate that tea drinkers did not get as much protection against Cirrhosis and tea contains less caffeine.
They also found that coffee drinkers had better results when taking blood tests of liver function.
So, if I drink lots of beer followed by large quantities of coffee I will not have to worry about Prostrate Cancer or Cirrhosis of the liver. Now what will the Health Nazis have to complain and lecture others on their bad habits.

Finally, some really bright boys were working on developing an audio sound that would be sold to stores to use to keep kids from hanging out in front of the stores. Leave it to the kids to figure out that it makes a great ring tone to use in class. See the sound can not be heard by most adults but can be with younger ears. In some cases it actually causes pain to people who can hear it.
The Huffington Post has a link that you can go to and download this magic sound. I did just that and played it and both my boys can hear it fine but me and the dog couldn’t.
Now by using the ring tone the kids will be able to read those highly important text messages their peers have sent them without pissing the teacher off.
The sound I downloaded and played actually at first seemed to cause my younger son real pain but he got used to it. I think I see another use for this sound, an alarm clock for teenagers.
I think I’ll spend the rest of the week drinking beer with coffee chasers and lamenting the fact that I can’t hear the sound that is the rage with young people.
It sure will be fun getting my sons up for school next year though.
posted by Nit Wit at 7:08 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Monday, June 12, 2006
Unusual Universe

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

Hmmm. I guess that either someone has discovered what the Universe is for, and the result is the way things have been going for the past few years are the new bizarre replacement.
Then again it could be that The Gump and his cronies believe this theory and are doing everything they can to stop anyone from making the discovery.

Moving sucks!
I have discovered that my old house has Elves who come out when the house is empty and add more stuff to the collection that we still have to find room for in the new place.
The other thing that I have discovered is that all my friends and relatives schedules are more crowded the more help I need.

The U-Haul from hell that wouldn’t start on Monday night was finally jump started on Wednesday morning and I drove it to the new place and had it unloaded before 1:00 PM.
That’s when I discovered it wouldn’t start again. It was finally towed away at 5:30 PM just in time for me to settle up and get my deposit back. We have been unpacking and arranging things ever since. Week one of my vacation is shot all to hell, and we still have more junk to move.

I also had my check-up with my Doctor on last Tuesday and he said all my blood work is just about perfect. That’s the good news; the bad news is that my wonderful abscess is back with so far 2 types of bacteria and the expensive antibiotics and visits to the ladies at the wound clinic again. Well, at least we started treatment without ending up in the Hospital again.

I have only read about 4 chapters of Dean Koontz’s new book The Husband. I have been a little busy and like to draw out the experience when it is one of my favorite authors.

I watched the Harrison Ford movie Firewall the other day and thought it was good. I have Last Vacation with Queen Latifah and may watch it before I go to bed if I’m not too tired. I could use a laugh or two.

I also want to go see X-Men The Last Stand but might just wait for the DVD.

We want to go see the Reds play baseball but I don’t know if we will be able to. Three hour drive and a gazillion bucks for tickets and food and they might not even win. Their doing well enough this year that almost all the games are on TV to boot.
We do always have a great time when we go though.

I’m not quite in the mood to rant about all the crap in the news lately. Maybe I’ll boil over later and really rip one off.

Oh, by the way the three days with the U-Haul from hell. I traveled a grand total of 5.3 miles and one of the things that went wrong was the truck ran out of gas even though the gauge read more than ¼ tank. Even with gas and a jump it wouldn’t start. The tow truck driver told me that the U-Haul trucks break down all the time and if I needed another one go to Budget. They take good care of their trucks. Live and learn.

Speaking of out of gas I think that’s me as I didn’t get much sleep last night. Lucky I have the movies till Wednesday. Time to go check my eye lids for light leaks.
posted by Nit Wit at 3:33 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Murphy’s Moving Laws
Well just a quick note to let you know how my day has gone.
I picked up a 24 foot U-haul at 1:00 PM and then backed it down a 300 yard narrow dirt road with trees and a nifty drop-off on one side. Then spent most of the next 12 hours packing it with twice as much stuff as will fit in the new place.
1:00 AM, tired and sore I climb into the cute little truck, turn the key and it will not start.
That just makes my day. I have to be at the Doctor this morning for blood work and to get my meds called in as all my refills are gone.
Fuck a duck until it quacks. Why is it I am not surprised that this happened?
At least My cable got hooked up today, though when I hooked up my laptop to check the internet I came to my blog and it looked strange and had no sidebar and after a minute it wouldn’t let me do anything. Seems to be working fine now.
I’ll blog and comment soon if I ever get the truck unloaded.
posted by Nit Wit at 3:41 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Sunday, June 04, 2006

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Lilly Tomlyn.

List 6 things about yourself that start with a letter.
Jackiesue gave me S a few days ago and I am gonna try to think up 6 words that start with it before I get a bad grade for turning in an assignment late.
Let’s see…

Semi-erect: Get your minds out of the gutter. I have a bad back and throw it out once in awhile. That’s one reason this move is going so slow. I often have trouble standing up straight and look like a real old man when I walk, but I get over it after about a month.

Semi-literate: I was edumacated in the Good old USA. I couldn’t read at the end of second grade and got to do it over again. My parents were given the choice of letting me go on to third grade even though I couldn’t read my Dick and Jane book.
In the seventh grade I was required to take reading as it was required. I finished all the work required in the first 4 weeks and after that became the teacher’s assistant and spent half my time reading all the books in the school library. In every test they gave me I read with 100% comprehension. I read everything at a different speed so they couldn’t pin my reading speed down.
When I moved in my sophomore year the school librarian cried when she said goodbye and asked me who was going to keep the dust off all the books.

Semi-shy: Well not really semi in this case. I have always been extremely shy and withdrawn except when alcohol is involved. Then people wish I would go back to being shy.

Semi-sweet: Well that’s what people keep telling me. I don’t buy it but people keep saying I’m sweet, so I compromise and say semi-sweet.

Semi-couscous: I tend to go through life paying only partial attention. I seem to have about 10 different things running through my noggin at any given time. This makes me seem to be not paying attention. When people call me on it they usually find out that I can tell them what they were saying when I seemed to be a million miles away. Of course usually I am a million miles away but remember what they said. I tend to forget it when it tries to go from short term to long term memory.

Semi-driver: I really was for a short time. I haven’t driven in about twelve years but still have my Commercial Drivers License. I doubt I could pass the physical to work at it but I paid $3000.00 for the training so I’m gonna keep it as long as I can.
I loved the traveling but The Boss had trouble taking care of everything at home and that’s when I first started having trouble with my neck.
My two stepdaughters were teenagers and a handful at the time. Me coming home didn’t help though.
Well that’s me in a semi-nutshell, or is that a nutty semi-shell.
Dumb but it keeps me from lifting heavy boxes for awhile.
posted by Nit Wit at 7:59 PM | Permalink | 6 comments