Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Pit Prejudice
Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.
Benjamin Franklin

I learned something from the newspaper today.
I had just finished reading Jackiesue’s post about the serial slasher cat when I beheld this headline.
“Pit bull owner given 18 citations”.
I must admit that my first thought was that some asshole was caught fighting Pit bulls. To give you an idea of the kind of paper this is this headline was the lead story front page above the fold.
What really happened was the local Dog Warden issued 18 tickets to the owner of the property after responding to complaints of vicious dogs. He found that the owner had 39 American pit bulls. The citations were for the 18 animals living in the house with the family and for not having liability insurance.
I learned that in Ohio it is illegal to have a pit bull and not have it in a kennel locked with a pad lock. You also must carry liability insurance. This seems a little extreme to me, as they class a pit bull as a vicious animal. I think that the people who train them to be fighters are the vicious animals.
The Dog Warden and the two Sheriff’s detectives were convinced that the owners statement that he bred the dogs but not as fighters was true. I would say it is not the best choice of business in view of Ohio’s hatred of American pit bulls, but he has other things to worry about. During the search they found a dead pit bull in a barn but didn’t say how it died. They also found an SUV that was reported stolen in Cleveland over a year ago. Can’t wait to hear his story about that one.
Nite all!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:08 AM | Permalink | 9 comments
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
ADVENTURES IN VAMPERISM
The brave man, indeed, calls himself lord of the land, through his iron, through his blood.
Ernst Moritz Arndt


I had my first Phlebotomy today, and no the ph is not silent. This is a process where in order to reduce the level of iron in your system they take out a liter of blood just like when you go to donate it at the Red Cross. The trouble is it goes to a lab to be checked out and if you did donate blood they could not use it, and you have to repeat it every few weeks for the rest of your life. I guess going to the Red Cross would be a lot cheaper than the hospital.
Hereditary Hemocromatosis is the inability of your body to get rid of excess iron which can cause a lot of serious problems with your organs and joints. There are other treatments but only if bleeding doesn’t work.
It went well though, no dizziness and only mild weakness. Well, the dizziness is more or less normal for me. If I think to much the old brainpan heats up causing all sorts of strange things to happen.
Let me see, they took my blood to lower take my iron. I guess I can’t call myself the lord of the land.
Funny, next they will give me a jar of leaches and tell me… Go and heal thyself.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 3:48 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Sunday, March 26, 2006
BLOG IN SEARCH OF A SUBJECT
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Ambrose Bierce

Let’s start with education and see if it passes the test.
The Bush administrations No Child Left Behind program is starting to show real results local schools all across the nation. The reading and math requirements of this law are forcing thousands of schools to increase class time on the two subjects and cutting back on the time spent on other subjects. In the case of “low-proficiency students” you know, the ones who go into politics, spending up to three times the classroom hours on just those two subjects. This is known as narrowing the curriculum which trims courses like social studies, science and art to meet the federal requirements to pass tests in reading and math.
Hell, why study history when our leaders are sure to repeat it soon enough.
I live in a county of just over 41,000 people with four school districts. All of them are in financial trouble this year claiming that the voters not passing new levies is to blame. It seems to me that it’s more likely trying to comply with federal and state mandates that come with no funding and relying on property taxes in an area where there are empty houses for sale on almost every block that causes the shortfalls. The funny thing is that all the local school districts have had plenty of money to build new schools to in many cases replace perfectly adequate schools that then sit empty and unsold. The local school district that my kids go to, the biggest in the county, is expecting a $3,000,000.00 shortfall in funding and they have managed to cut about $100,000.00 by eliminating two administrative posts, the middle school principal and assistant principal. I’ve never heard of a school without a principal before.
My son in the 10th grade just took the five tests he is required to pass in Ohio before he can graduate last week, and his teachers spent weeks before not teaching the subjects but teaching the students to pass the multiple choice tests.

Another group of doctors have found an area to spend government grants to study that has had some interesting results. It seems that they have discovered a little tidbit that seems to show that watching daytime TV, talk shows and soaps has been tied to poorer mental scores in elderly women. They seem to score better if their favorite shows are other types. The doctors are quick to point out that there is no proof that watching daytime TV causes these poorer scores. Then what was the study trying to prove?
One doctor said that this doesn’t mean watching Oprah is bad for you. However an older woman’s fondness for the show could signal a problem. Why is it I’m not surprised?
In other news Dubya is getting Gumpier by the second and caused the bullshit levels in Ohio to increase this past week by stopping and opening his cake hole to spout some more stunningly stupid speaking points about his agenda. I can’t even go into it as I already have High blood pressure and too many other health problems.
Maybe if I started watching daytime TV I would start believing the things he spouts lowering my stress levels and improving my health.
Oh well it’s about time for bed so I can get up and do a good job at work.
I need a vacation, but the cruse liner to Mars is not due for about 100 years.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 7:19 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Friday, March 24, 2006
DRUNK DETECTORS
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill


How many reasons can you come up with to go to a bar?
You could shoot pool, watch the big game, eat a gourmand dinner, dance and meet your soul mate, or just watch people do what people do, but at least in Texas you’re not supposed to be in a bar to drink.
Carolyn Beck, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission says that being in a bar does not exempt you from the state laws against public drunkenness.
If this is the case shouldn’t the Bartenders, owners, brewers, distillers and distributors be at least accessories, like contributing to the drunkenness of a normal person?
These are the kind of thoughts I have when I’m sober.
In Texas they have decided to do something about this huge problem of people going to bars and drinking. They have launched a sting operation using undercover agents to infiltrate bars at great risk of life and limb and make arrests when they observe someone being drunk in public.
Beck said that there are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they’re intoxicated other than get behind the wheel of a car. People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss.
Yes, and sober people appoint total morons to important political posts.
The story I read said that the first sting operation was conducted in a Dallas suburb. Agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication. Now I was under the impression that this was a relatively minor misdemeanor, and I know the agents must make a good bit more than minimum wage.
The thing I am dying to find out though is what happened to the other 6 agents.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 9:02 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Sunday, March 19, 2006
MEDICAL MIRACLES


Prior to penicillin and medical research, death was an everyday occurrence. It was intimate. Katherine Dunn


Almost every day there is an announcement of a new miracle drug or the discovery of the healing properties of some chemical or compound either natural or created. This is the wonder of the thousands of research laboratories around the world.
Of course many cures are never developed because the occurrence of the ailment is too rare to provide a high enough profit, unless it is researched by a university lab not as motivated by greed.
The latest miracle compound is called Capsaicin and is being tested by U.S. and Japanese researchers. It has the amazing ability to cause Human Prostrate Cancer cells in mice to commit suicide in a process known as apoptosis. It sounds like bad breath from drinking too much pop. It must be a powerful depressant to cause them to kill themselves.
Who knew that mice had human prostate cells?
Prostate Cancer is the most common form of cancer in men. This is a little surprising when you consider that Capsaicin is what makes a hot pepper hot, and you only need 3 to 8 peppers to equal the amount given to the mice. The hotter the peppers the fewer you need.
Now judging by the number of cases of prostrate cancer diagnosed each year and the huge number of cases of peppers consumed worldwide I am surprised there is still such a thing as prostrate cancer.
Just another case of something thought to be bad for you that turns out to be the thing that keeps you healthy.  
Soon they will tell us that eating fatty foods drinking and smoking to excess and an immoral lifestyle leads to immortality.
I’m starting to wonder why I listen to my doctor at all.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 9:07 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
FALLING ASLEEP AGAIN.
I just don't have any energy left for some reason so I have only been able to catch up with a few Blogs. I promised the other day that I would do a health update but I have been so tired that I haven't been able to.

If you want to find out about the latest in my medical melodrama just Google "Hereditary Hemocromatosis" and you will know as much as I do right now. Doc just got the positive DNA test back Friday and I'm waiting to see a blood specialist whenever my Doc gets an appointment. He ordered this test months ago when I was in the hospital and the hospital didn't do it. With the other ailments I had he didn't catch it. Oh well shit happens. I just wish it would happen to someone else for awhile. :)
 
posted by Nit Wit at 6:12 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Friday, March 10, 2006
WORKING CAUSES BRAIN DAMAGE
I went back to work at 7:30 PM March 2nd and this is the only thing I have managed to post in more than a week, except what I stole from Jackiesue. I think the act of punching a time clock causes some sort of reverse evolution.
I am starting to catch up with the Blogs I like to read, but can't seem to find a subject that gets me going on my own.
I think it's a Republican/Big Business plot to create a safe stable work force and dull there minds with shear monotony so they can't form their own opinions.
I told my boss the other day that thinking was against company policy and grounds for dismissal. He started to laugh and then got distracted by a pretty poster on the bulletin board. I left him to his job and went home.
One more night and then another day off to try to come up with more political paranoia and lame half assed humor.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 6:41 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I STOLE THIS FROM JACKIESUE
and she said she stole it from someone else.

The deal is you choose a band or a singer, then you answer the questions with a song title, then post then rub tummy and pat head.

The band, Black Sabbath..

1. Describe yourself............Iron Man

2. How do people feel about you...Megalomania

3.How do you feel about yourself....Am I Going Insane

4. Describe what you want to be....The Wizard

5. Describe your current mood....Paranoid

6. Describe your friends....Back Street Kids

7.Share a few words of wisdom.. Every Day Comes & Goes

rub pat.. rub pat..

Never could get that part right.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:00 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Thursday, March 02, 2006
NOT WHAT I HOPED FOR TODAY
AquariusEvery now and then, the universe tosses us a day that's just not destined to turn out the way we thought it would. You're due for a few of those now, especially in the financial department. A business situation you've been working for has suddenly become impossible to pull off -- at least, it seems that way. Stall the initial negotiations for at least the next three weeks. You may end up doing some celebrating with a loved one as a result.


Your Fortune For Today:
Just slack off today.

Now I ask you, is this the kind of horoscope and fortune to get just before going to the doctor’s office and plan to go back to work at 7:30 tonight.
Now this is really the land of confusion.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 9:20 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Something To Offend Everyone
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE; PART I

1. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
(Juan-on-Juan)

2. What is a Yankee?
(The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone)

3. Why is divorce so expensive?
(Because it's worth it)

4. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's
mouth?
(One US leader)

5. What do you see when the Pillsbury-Dough-Boy bends
over?
(Doughnuts)

6. Why is air a lot like sex?
(Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting
any)

7. Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
(Because Janet Reno is her real father)

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING
UP!)

1. What do you call a smart blonde?
(A golden retriever)

2. What do attorneys use for birth control?
(Their personalities)

3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and
wife?
(45 lbs)

4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and
husband?
(45 minutes)

5. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

(None, they just sit there in the dark and complain)

6. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
(Through his chest with a sharp knife)

7. Why do men want to marry virgins?
(They can't stand criticism)

8. What's the difference between a new husband and a
new dog? (After a year, the dog is still excited to
see you)

9. What makes men chase women they have no intention
of marrying? (The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
they have no intention of driving)

10. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
(Because they have cotton balls)

11. What's the difference between a porcupine and
BMW?
(A porcupine has the pricks on the outside)

12. What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant? ("Are you sure it's mine?")

13. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
(Mace will do that to you)

14. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
Virginia?
(Everyone has the same DNA)

15. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
(Breasts don't have eyes)

16. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
(He walks around saying "Yo.")

17. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck
schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and
Fridays? (Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed
class uses it)

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE; PART III

1. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
("Row, Row, Row Your Boat")

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
(A different bar)

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
retarded baby? (They named him "Sum Ting Wong")

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other? (A speech impediment)

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post
Office is flying at half-mast? (They're hiring)

6. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a
northern zoo? (A southern zoo has a description of the
animal on the front of the cage along with... "A
recipe")

7. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to
say the "F" word?
(Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
BINGO!)

8. What's the difference between a northern fairytale
and a southern fairytale? (A northern fairytale begins
"Once upon a time.." A southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...")

9. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
(No one's tall enough to go on the good rides)

The End
 
posted by Nit Wit at 5:57 AM | Permalink | 4 comments