Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
This is a little strange.
These are the kind of people who live in Ohio and vote for Bush.
I bet he had a lot of fun explaining to his wife.

No Picnic: Man Charged With Screwing a Patio Table

Mar 31st 2008

By Tom Radler

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.

Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school.

In addition to public outrage, we imagine there's considerable jealousy among Price's other lawn furniture. While barbecues and lawn chairs don't have many places for good loving (unless you're big enough for that drink holder), we're sure that plastic gnome hiding in the hedges is wondering why he wasn't chosen. The garden hose, however, is probably pretty relieved.

4/2/08 UPDATE: Authorities have dropped the indecency charges against Price, after deciding the evidence didn't support the case for a felony. Prosecutors say, however, that they may revisit the case later.

Now I understand that if this was happening in plain view of others it would be a problem. They don't really say if there was a fence or not.
What I don't understand is when it became legal to video tape a person without his knowledge. I have to think that a simple call to 911 would suffice.

As you can see by the update they are not even prosecuting.

The table must have been asking for it.
posted by Nit Wit at 2:09 PM | Permalink |