Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
RATIONAL RULES
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain


I found this HERE and shamelessly stole it.
Lucky The Boss never reads my blog.


The Man Rules

Finally , the guys’ side of the story. ( I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear ‘the rules ‘
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious! hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default setting! .
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 8:54 PM | Permalink |


6 Comments:


  • At 9:57 PM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    uh oh...if the boss does read this..your ass is grass...
    where you been?...

     
  • At 3:51 PM, Blogger texlahoma

    I like #1, I should print this out and hand it to my wife every time she starts in on me. I'll need lots of copies!

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger Liquid

    Touche'.........

    Loved it!

     
  • At 11:26 PM, Blogger BBC

    Fuck their rules. They are all about them and not partnerships. That is why they live alone. And they can just damn well stay alone.

     
  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Regality

    I've seen this before and loved it then. Still do.

     
  • At 11:07 PM, Blogger BBC

    It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
    Mark Twain


    Not everything he said was right, what makes a horse a winner is sheer power and some luck.