Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
FURTURE FORTUNE
 Henceforth I ask not good fortune. I myself am good fortune.
Walt Whitman



Your fortune for today...
A surprise announcement will free you.


Aquarius
By Rick Levine
The Sun hooks up with your key planet Uranus today to electrify your 2nd House of Finances. Be careful about buying something you don't really need, for you might not realize how much you spent until the deal is already done. On the other hand, Uranus could also bring a sudden windfall. Either way, it's easy come, easy go, so think about what you are doing with your money before it's too late.



My ass is tired.

On my home page I have among other things My fortune for today and of course my Horoscope.
The fortune sometimes repeats itself but I don't remember getting this one before today.
As to my horoscope, it's a new one every day. I think I'm going to have to replace this one though.

This guy seems obsessed with my anus.

 I don't want to have anything to do with electrifying it and if I esperance a sudden windfall I may have to give up eating beans so The Boss doesn't kick me out on the street.

Seriously though I hate it when they start talking about surprise announcements and a windfall having to do with finances. They are never right and they just get me all worked up. I start having trouble sleeping because my mind wanders from one unlikely daydream about money to another.

I might win the Lottery even when I haven't played. Some rich relative will set me up with a trust fund  even though the last rich person in my family was a man who owned a large percentage of Virginia, and that was in the mid 1600's or any of a thousand others that are even more unlikely than the last.

When I was in the ICU loaded up with all the drugs things like this were as real to me as the vampires of mercy taking my blood and shooting me up with insulin.

When I get tired and am trying to sleep they sometimes seem almost as real now.
I know that wealth can't solve all your problems but as another of my fortunes said a while back. "Money is the root of all evil and a man needs roots."

Getting this kind of prediction is even tougher to take when you have been unable to work for almost 11 months and are waiting for a disability determination and maybe a settlement offer from the Butcher's Assistant who carved you up.

Who knows I might be wrong. I do have more than 2 cents to rub together (9 if my count is right) and I have a roof over my head, food in the freezer and The Boss gets paid a week from Friday. For that matter I still have the ability to suck air into my lungs and say and do stupid things.

Oh, and I have the ability to connect to the interweb using my physic powers and Jackiesue gave me a Best Comment Award.
Now I have to write something humble and coherent.
 
posted by Nit Wit at 3:53 AM | Permalink |


20 Comments:


  • At 8:42 AM, Blogger Charlene

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger Charlene

    The guy who has a fascination with your anus might be interested in something I just read about; anal bleaching.

    Who would pay for this?

    Who would have this as a job?

    My mind is boggled!

    Don't worry about the prediction. I read my 'scopes every morning as well as those of my close friends. I immediately forget mine but recall theirs and sometimes they seem to be true. However, since their lives are not my life. Who knows? It's my perception of their life that matches the scope, not the reality, right?

     
  • At 10:03 AM, Blogger billy pilgrim

    tony kornheiser's uranus jokes are about the only good thing left on pardon the interuption.

    if i was an american right now i'd put my cash into physical gold. your currency is sinking and with the huge deficit taxes might go up. they can't tax gold that's buried in your backyard.

    then again i might be full of crap and the chinese will dump tons of gold on the market to drive down the price. who the feck knows.

     
  • At 11:53 AM, Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY

    I'd be careful about bending over around a guy that was that concerned with my anus..just saying.
    I dream about winning the lottery all the time..and end up going broke because I gave it all to my friends and family...had a dream about the dearly departed jack last night..even when they are 'good' dreams..they freak me out..a smiling jack denney is a scary thing..
    hope your feeling better.

     
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  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger BBC

    On my home page I have among other things My fortune for today and of course my Horoscope.

    Rolls eyes....

     
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  • At 9:16 AM, Blogger Pedro Garcia Millan

    PART 1

    THE US CITIZENS HAVE THEIR BRAINS SCRAMBLED VIA FLUORIDE IN THE WATER & ALL THE ASPERTAME THEY CONSUME IN POP DRINKS, BUT THERE IS MORE.....

    You see, Bush Sr., & Jr., Clinton, Regan, Carter, Obama, Ford...ALL these presidents are in what is dubbed a SECRET SOCIETY called The Moloch Axis Demoniacs (i coined the phrase myself...Dr. A.P. and i don't use my full name because WHO knows WHAT sinister crap they'd do to me IF they found out?) or M.A.D. for short.

    These people, and there’s obviously more of them (Cheney, Rumsfeld etc.) than the ones mentioned, control KEY positions not just in government, business, society etc. They are GRADUALLY erroding MORAL/FAMILY VALUES in society. SO gradual that it's like hairloss! You see it ever so slowly and you have to be a keen eye to boot!

    For example, women in the workforce...they go to work so WHO takes care of the kids? Some goofs getting minimum wage who could care less about those kids. Family split apart because NOW both parents work and the cost of life itself purposely increased to perpetuate this separation. Kids grow up with NO moral/family values. Repeat this a few generations and before you know it, you have mindless zombies that don't know RIGHT from WRONG! Easily programmable to get in debt, be anti-christ-like etc.

    Also, the coming mark of the beast 666. Remember HOW it all used to be ca$h only? Then they introduced checks, then credit cards to get yourself in serious financial troubles, then ATM cards, and now that STUPID SWIPE-PASS card. What is the purpose of all this? To get people broken down enough and stupid enough through putting FLUORIDE in the drinking water and ASPERTAME in soda drinks/pop cans so we ALL can accept the 666 chip. So NOBODY can buy or sell or own ANYTHING lest he has the mark of the beast (anti-christ) which is 666.

    I can go on for days & days as to the subtleties and more examples but i think you all SEE the points i make here. It's all SUBTLE and GRADUAL negative changes day in & day out that these M.A.D. demons (because they are demonic and have placed their trust in demons in exchange for their souls and material possessions here on earth) are passing into laws in Canada, USA, UK, SPAIN, FRANCE etc.

     
  • At 8:16 PM, Blogger Lakota

    march? you haven't been here since march? damn. okay we won't go into how long it's been since i popped by.
    just wanted to say hi.

     
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  • At 8:01 PM, Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY

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  • At 10:47 PM, Blogger texlahoma

    "Uranus could also bring a sudden windfall."

    I'm not sure, but I think that means an unexpected fart.

     
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