I stole this top ten list from an undisclosed location.

Translation, I forgot to bookmark the site.


Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which One can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble Down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no Attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal Immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.
Billy Crystal











Baby Girl
Natalie Rose
Born On: August 10, 2007
Weight: 5 lbs 8.8 oz Height: 18 inches
Parents:
Donald & Richelle
Siblings:
Shanequa , Donald , Darren
Grandparents:
Chuck & Sandy
Steve & Rose


I’m a Grandpaw again!

Hard to believe she was only 24 hours old when this picture was taken. I visited the hospital about 20 hours after she was born. I was working and sleeping before that.
Thirty seconds after I sat in the rocking chair and started rocking her she took her first dump. Ah those milestones of childhood.
The minute her mom put her in my arms I said hi there Littlebit. Guess what her nickname is now.
It’s hard to believe that her brother Darren was lighter than her.
Now I have a brand new person to spoil!

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
Andrew Brown



25 Signs That Computers and the Internet Rule You

by Beatrice Adams, Aug 6, 2007

LINK

I stole this from the link above…
I’m a bad boy.

Only 22 of these apply to me so far.

Do you consider the Internet a basic utility? Do you have friends who know you better by your username than your real name? If somebody told you to “google it,” would you know what he wants you to do? Does your computer rule your life? Here are 25 signs that it does.

1. You can't remember the last time you wrote an entire paragraph using a pen and paper.
2. You consider Internet a basic utility.
3. Between your Internet and your TV, you would rather lose your TV.
4. Between your Internet and your phoneline, you would rather lose your phoneline.
5. The Internet IS your phoneline.
6. You carry a flash drive in your purse or pocket.
7. You carry a laptop with you wherever you go-or you wish you could.
8. You have a callous on your right wrist, where you rest your hand when you use your mouse.
9. Your “diary” is not protected with a lock and key, but with a username and password - and it is open to be read by anybody in the world.
10. You've joined an online forum and regularly post messages on it.
11. You are - or have been - a member of a Yahoo group.
12. You've watched 1,500 orange-clad prisoners dancing “Thriller” on YouTube.
13. You know the meaning of the word “google” - and if you don't, you simply Google it.
14. When you hear the word “spam,” you don't think of food.
15. You've bought and sold things on eBay.
16. You've had an online love affair.
17. Half your friends only know you by your username.
18. The other half know your real name AND your username.
19. You've mastered computing the time in several different time zones because of all those online meetings you schedule with your Internet friends.
20. You no longer buy greeting cards; you get them free online and send them through email.
21. You no longer buy newspapers; your morning news is regularly sent to your inbox.
22. You no longer buy calendars; you use the one in your email reader or taskbar.
23. If your wall clock suddenly disappeared, you wouldn't miss it very much either.
24. You don't keep pictures of your kids in your wallet, but you set them as your wallpaper and screen saver.
25. You need a computer to view your children's photos.
Disclaimer: This list is for entertainment purposes only. If you want a real assessment on whether or not you are addicted to the Internet, please go to netaddiction.com

I needed to decide if I could continue working for a President who wanted to write discrimination into the Constitution.
Mary Cheney


I found this on www.bw.org. They found it…
I saw this posted on a BBS -- there was no attribution.
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Above all, I would not expect a wise race, at great expense, to set loose an army of self-replicating robots.
Barney Oliver


I grew up in a time when TV was the state of the art in technological advancement.
As I got older we went from 1 channel to 3 and in 1963 when JFK was assassinated I was in charge of the reel to reel recorder set up in front of the TV to record the whole funeral.

Now we have Microwave ovens and Ipods. The computer is used in every phase of our lives, and if we have fewer than 100 channels on our boob tube we are considered deprived.

In Japan they have robots in use as babysitters. They have very advanced face recognition software and can sound the alert if one face is missing out of many. I hope the kids don’t play hide and go seek often.

Now the Japanese are developing a robot to take care of the elderly dispensing medications and following them around.

Funny, they used to revere their ancestors and respect their elders above all others. I guess they are just adopting another tradition from America.

I bring this up because I have been reading more and more articles that are pointing out that scientists are becoming a little worried about some of the developments in artificial intelligence that could precursor the end of life as we know it.

The facial recognition programs I spoke of above have resulted in the department of defense contracting to produce a remote controlled helicopter with a recoil-less rifle capable of tracking and killing one specific individual. Now that’s some high tech shit.

I hope I don’t piss Bush or Cheney off too much. I do have a face and I want to keep it.

The first known case of robot homicide occurred in 1981, when a robotic arm crushed a Japanese Kawasaki factory worker. There are currently 4000 robots serving in the US Military, including reconnaissance Talon bots that scout for roadside bombs in Iraq and PacBots that Unsuccessfully poked around Osama bin Laden’s hideout in Afghanistan.

Scientists are not worried about robots taking over the world but of people using robots to take over the world.

The computer has already mastered the human in all board and card games with one rather important exception. That exception is rather remarkable.

The game of Go is considered to be the oldest in the world. It was developed before writing and there is no way to be certain of how old it is, but it is considered to be the first game ever developed. According to legend it was invented by an emperor who wished to teach his foolish son the virtues of balance and patience

So, if you ever read a story about a computer beating the Go master of the world you will know that the end is near and if you are not on good terms with your personnel computer you should head for the hills.

I sometimes wonder if I could ever cope with life without my computers. I even have a watch that has a USB connection to my computer so I can set the time by the atomic clock and type in my contacts notes and appointments.
I talk nice to all my computers and haven’t kicked one in a long time. When I did, it was a moment of insanity and I swear I went to an anger management seminar afterwards.
Computers are my friends and if they went away I would not be able to cope.

My older brother taught me to play chess when I was 5 years old.
When I was 6 I beat him in 12 moves. He quit playing chess after that.
When I try to play against my computer I understand my brother better.

I hope that Go stays a human game for a long time.

I’m getting a little worried now.