Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Real things lawyers ask in court.

·  Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
·  Witness: "No."
·  Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
·  Witness: "No."
·  Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
·  Witness: "No."
·  Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
·  Witness: "No."
·  Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
·  Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
·  Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
·  Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
And another one.
·  Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
·  Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

posted by Nit Wit at 12:29 AM | Permalink |


  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger lostinthetriangle

    I hate lawyers (not all, just the crooked ones) But I like lawyer jokes!

  • At 12:21 AM, Blogger Nit Wit

    Crooked ones, you mean there's another kind?

  • At 12:37 AM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    ahhhh always wondered what happened to my devorice lawyer....what's the old joke..what is 5,000, lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? a good start