Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
GIGANTIC GENUIS
It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
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GIGANTIC GENUIS






Stop the presses! Don’t bother to nominate anyone for The Nobel prize in science or any other academic award. It’s no contest the winner is preordained. We may have to give all awards to Dr. John C. Ozmun until the end of time.

I’m sure you have heard of the good Doctor. His name should be on everyone’s lips 24/7.
He will have to beat women (and men) off with a very large stick.

Dr. John C. Ozmun, of Indiana State University and his co-authors who obviously wish they were a tenth as smart as Dr. Ozmun have done a study on the declining fitness in America’s youth that has had startling results.

Two groups of children were given cardboard blocks to carry about 26 feet and put down repeatedly. The real genius in the study is that half the children were given blocks that weighed less than a quarter pound and the others weighed 3 ½ pounds. Days later the children were given the opposite type blocks.

The results:
Overall, after an average of 10 minutes of carrying weighted blocks, the children experienced significantly greater increases in heart rate, oxygen uptake and energy expenditure than they did after carrying the lighter blocks, study findings indicate.
"Handling heavier objects, either through play or instruction, may provide opportunities to increase workload intensity in a benign manner allowing for subsequent improvements in children's physical fitness," Ozmun's group concludes.

I am absolutely stunned by this revelation. The conventional wisdom included such things as taking time to prepare healthy meals and avoiding junk food loaded with sugars and fats and maybe as a last resort getting them involved in activities that include running and jumping and climbing and other such dangerous activities.

However large the government grant was that funded this groundbreaking study it was a bargain.

All along we only had to trick them by making the toys they want to play with heaver.
I’m halfway through my design for a lead filled joy stick for my kids Play station and X-Box. Soon I’ll be so rich I will hire others to Blog for me!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 10:15 AM | Permalink |


21 Comments:


  • At 11:00 AM, Blogger leo myshkin

    there might be a fortune to be made in medium sized rocks.

     
  • At 11:56 AM, Blogger Babs

    Duct tape and a few rocks would work with the current stuff.
    Dad, why is there a rock taped to my x-box? It's good for you son. No, wait you can't tell them that. Hmmm...

     
  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger chattymoon2012

    Hope you don't forget all your (desperatly broke) blogging pals :D We can all use a million or two!!!! You and I are of an age to remember when cans of soda had to be opened with the business end of a can-opener (the same part used to open cans of evaporated milk for tea). I still kick myself all day long for not inventing the pop-top. Such a simple thing. It's like I told my brother, some people are meant to be poor all their lives...

     
  • At 5:53 PM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    when i was very very very skinny i still had the big tits..people used to tell me i needed to hang a large rock around my neck and let it hang down my back so i wouldnt flip over...maybe if i had i wouldnt have grown this big ass to compensate for the large tits...what'dya think?

     
  • At 8:52 AM, Blogger leo myshkin

    i just remembered, in the sirens of titan, vonnegut had some characters wearing weights around their necks such as car radiators, just to try and give everyone an equal playing field.

    if you hate war, question religion , enjoy sci fi and enjoy sarcasm; then the sirens of titan is a must read.

     
  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger PJ

    Hehehe. I suppose you could invent heavier shoes. You know the expensive Jordans so the kids would wear them. Wouldn't they have strong legs then?

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    nancy sent me willie nelson's new book the toa of willie..i have recommended it to leo, and im recommending it to you..its a yafta book...it's something that i think you will really enjoy...small book, easy read...great advice, lessons and goofy jokes...trust me on this...get the book....

     
  • At 1:06 AM, Blogger Babs

    Aye, Eight Legged Freaks is a mighty good film! I think I'll watch it tomorrow! Was it the "Itsy Bisty Spider" at the end? I think it was, guess I'll find out!

     
  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger Babs

    Yep, last time I did fireworks years ago, they were illegal in the city and most of the suburbs. We had to drive to BFE to get some. But that doesn't stop people from bringing them back to the city to set them off. Nor does the drought stop them. Idiots!
    JS and her famous dancing ass!

     
  • At 10:43 AM, Blogger Babs

    More like the cats are testing to make sure they are my masters. Yes, they are...
    Hey, we got some rain yesterday!!! Woo-hoo!!! Ohh... Dogma is a good movie, I haven't seen Evolution.

     
  • At 1:58 PM, Blogger Scottish Toodler

    You mean that carrying heavy things is what? Like exercise or something? And that bit about the healthy meals, why I'd never heard that before. I am so glad that the government subsidized this grant. Did Doc Ozman go to school with Dickie Cheney???

     
  • At 1:29 AM, Blogger Babs

    Jeremiah does not listen to me or take any orders from me.

     
  • At 12:47 PM, Blogger Babs

    Damn FDA would rather kill people than lose funding. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, don't it?
    Damn gov't.

     
  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    ryc: lordy. i remember when i was a kid in hawaii running behind the ddt trucks, we thought that was the coolest thing ever...it's a wonder we are still alive..
    i still cant get over you living in the town where i was born...

     
  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger Babs

    Ohh... I know where JS was born, but she made me promise to never tell anyone.
    The brisket was really good! Sorry I can't share any with you...

     
  • At 10:24 PM, Blogger Babs

    Sorry... no brisket for you!

     
  • At 11:10 AM, Blogger apositivepessimist

    heehee Nitty...oh pshaw take it like the man you are. oops sorry forgot my manners ;P but don’t think I didn’t notice you commented on a “Thonging LFB” post...again.

    night Nit, reckon I’m off to the land of slumber soon as well :)

     
  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger Babs

    Don't make me tag you!!

     
  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger Babs

    You're a smart man!! hehehe

     
  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger Babs

    Hey- you gonna post sometime?
    Cheeseburgers.... yummmmmm

     
  • At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    Hallo I absolutely adore your site. You have beautiful graphics I have ever seen.
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