Random ramblings from my beer soaked melon about politics, religion, sex, stupidities, nature, and any other subject that penetrates the haze. Sometimes crude and not for the faint of heart or people with normal intelligence, or an abundance of common sense.
Monday, January 01, 2007
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
I don’t usually make New Years resolutions but I have decided that 2006 was so bad for my family (not nearly as bad as it was for a lot of people) that I would give it a shot.
My son when we were wishing each other a happy new year summed it up pretty well when he described our 2006 as a train wreck.

I resolve to quit my job and turn to a life of crime. Jewel thief sounds like a lot of fun.

I resolve to forsake all my friends and relatives and stop reading and writing blogs.

I resolve to quit taking my pills and start smoking again, eat more fried food and sugar, and coat everything in salt.

I resolve to turn down any help or advice offered and to go out of my way to piss off perfect strangers, though I have never met anyone who is perfect in my life.

I further resolve to make a special effort to gain at least 100 pounds and stop doing anything that could be considered as personnel hygiene.

I resolve to also send money in response to all Email requests from Nigeria or British Columbia.

I resolve to go out to some Hacker sites I know about and insult everyone there being sure to give them as much information about me and daring them to do anything about it.

I also resolve to quit playing World of Warcraft and do other things to isolate myself from my kids and grandkids.

Oh, by the way I have never managed to keep a single New Years resolution and figure I’m not going to change at 50.

Happy New Year!!!
 
posted by Nit Wit at 4:54 AM | Permalink |


5 Comments:


  • At 12:29 AM, Blogger apositivepessimist

    Arhaahaa Nitty.

    Excellent resolutions not to keep.

     
  • At 3:00 AM, Blogger Junebugg

    I'll go with ya on all those, I can't keep a resolution either

     
  • At 2:11 PM, Blogger ruby rocks

    gaining a hundred pounds could be a lot of fun. maybe you test it out and gain 10 pounds first.

     
  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger yellowdog granny

    hey..you know a perfect person...me..im a perfect asshole...and dont keep or make resolutions either..

     
  • At 1:44 PM, Blogger Babs

    I think you'd make a grand jewel thief! Remember take the real diamonds, not the fake ones.
    I don't make resolutions. Haven't in years.